This Week's WACKS
Our 1,008th Edition
"You always hurt the ones you hit"
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May 29th, 2015

We made it through Memorial Day Weekend--the official kickoff of summer and the traditional weekend where hundreds of people get on the news, surprised that they got stranded at an airport.

They had a 4.1 earthquake in Napa last week. Yes, all the wine is safe, but thank you for your concern.

Former New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez has already gotten a "Lifetime" neck tattoo while doing time in prison. I'm pretty sure it's not because he's a fan of the network.

According to a new poll, one third of Americans believe animals deserve the same rights as people. This explains that dog with the concealed weapon the other day.

There's a video making the rounds of a Pit Bull catching salmon in British Columbia with his mouth. Of course, this begs the question: does he have a license?

Kobe Bryant says he's got one more season in him, then he'll retire. Of course, he thought about just quitting now, but he couldn't pass.

You're hearing a lot in the news about arrests being made in a FIFA corruption scandal. The arrests would be the news part, the corruption is old news.

The arrests were made following the announcement of the 2016 election results.

FIFA -- it's everywhere they want it to be.

Over 100,000 taxpayers have had their personal information stolen from the I.R.S. website. Oh, sure... THIS time, I win the lottery.

Three more Republican candidates for president will announce they're running over the next week. We're getting closer to the "1 candidate for every Republican voter" mark.

I'm down another 5-pounds. This adjusting the scale thing really works!

Mississippi has won the honor of being our country's fattest state for the second year not-running.

A claim says that road and jet noise are possibly fueling obesity. Yeah, sure, that's itů..or, it just might have something to do with EATING!!!

Researchers are using the Herpes virus to help fight some types of cancer.  Or, if nothing else, it'll give the cancer cells some very annoying sores.

A study says that moderate drinking can be harmful to your heart.  Well, let's just say I'm really glad I didn't stop at moderate.

TOP FIVE WAYS TO PROTEST DAVID LETTERMAN'S RETIREMENT

  1.     Never watch his show again!
  2.     Start National Dress Up Like Larry Bud Melman Day
  3.     Complain to the home office in Sioux City, Iowa
  4.     Call up Jimmy Kimmel's phone and ask, "Is Dave there?"
  5.     Teach your pet a smart trick

FIVE BUMPERSTICKERS YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T GIVE TO A COLLEGE GRADUATE

  1.     "My student loans are bigger than your student loans"
  2.     "Follow me to the unemployment office"
  3.     "Would you like fries with that?"
  4.     "I are a graduate"
  5.     "Four years of college and all I got was this lousy bumpersticker"
Laugh a little, would ya?                 
                    Tim

PS---George Takei's weekly funny is our Facebook Post of the Week
PSPS---OK, so I'm a little late to the party on my blog
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