This Week's WACKS
Our 1,012th Edition
"Gotta figure out one day how to make candles out of these WACKS"
Available on a daily basis through Radio On-line
Click here for a free trial

June 26th, 2015

Former Spokane NAACP President Rachel Dolezal has been offered her own reality show by two different cable networks. I'm working on a title for it: "Fake Roots?" "The Far From Real Housewife of Spokane?" Too bad "Once Upon a Time" was already taken.

Canada's government websites were shut down after a cyber-attack. The number one question up north these days: "I wonder what that was all a boat?"

Do know when LSU's football team holds their team meetings? On Visitor's Day. From my buddy, Skip Tucker: On the bright side, selfie sticks ("narcissisticks") can also act as lightning rods.

Audi will be giving away a new pair of shoes with every car sale. Isn't that like Boeing giving away a free parachute with every plane sold?

Comcast founder Ralph Roberts has died at age 95. His funeral will be held a week from Wednesday, sometime between noon and 4pm.

Scientists say the human body contains around 37.2-trillion cells, if you're counting. Then again, if you are, you could spend your entire lifetime counting.

Well, to no one's surprise, this was the first year at Bruce Jenner's house that he didn't receive a tie.

Pope Francis has called for an immediate effort to reduce global warming. Seriously, you don't want to see him in an above-the-knee robe.

NBC's "Hannibal" has been canceled after three seasons. Funny, but they can't find the guy who actually made the announcement...

Rapper Sean "P. Diddy" Combs was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon on the UCLA campus Monday. Of course, the big question: Diddy?

Wanna see Donald Duck? Throw something at him!

Queen Elizabeth may have to move out of Buckingham Palace for a while so that they can do a major reconstructive overhaul. On the palace, not the queen.

The Scottish government says they're going to stop paying the queen $3.2 million every year. Needless to say, she is not amused. Especially by either of the last two jokes.

Scientists say that global warming will result in smaller loaves of bread by 2050. Of course, the world's solution: then I'll just have TWO sandwiches.

People who waffle and constantly change their minds drive me nuts. Then they don't.

A CNN anchor suggested this week that the Jefferson Memorial should be taken down because Jefferson owned slaves. There's a big anti-Confederacy movement underway. There was even a suggestion to balance out the title and make it, "50 Shades of Blue and Grey."

Indiana police arrested a man the other day for trespassing and licking a toad. Probably not the first thing you want to bring up to your cellmate...

A study says that conservatives may be better at dieting than liberals. To that, I say two words: Chris Christie.

A study says that there is little evidence to show that medicinal marijuana helps with any illnesses. That's a tough one. I can imagine the subjects are smoking away when one of them says, "What were we doing again?"

TOP FIVE WAYS TO DEMONSTRATE JUST HOW LAZY YOU ARE THIS SUMMER

  1.     Uber through a sprinkler
  2.     Go on a two-week camping trip in your backyard
  3.     Hire the neighbor kid to go out to the mailbox and pick up the mail for you
  4.     Set up your wading pool in your bathtub
  5.     Export your Lemonade Stand business to a Third World Country

TOP FIVE WARNING SIGNS YOUR WEDDING MAY BE IN TROUBLE

  1.     Bride hasn't been seen since January
  2.     Due to scheduling conflict, there's a bowling tournament schedule at the same time at the alley where the wedding was planned
  3.     Father of Bride has prepared 20-minute speech to follow question, "Does anyone here object?"
  4.     Groomsman still believes exploding bouquet gag would be hilarious
  5.     Wedding planner is former coach of the Oakland Raiders
Laugh a little, would ya?                 
                    Tim

PS---George Takei is back with this week's Facebook Post of the Week
PSPS--- The big day is Sunday--my salute to dads this week on  my blog
PSPSPS --Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack
PS6--NEW My podcast is back!  You've already missed two new episodes. Listen here.