Vladimir Putin spent his 63rd birthday playing hockey with NHL stars and being presented with a trophy. It was nice seeing win with a trophy that didn't have its own national anthem.
A new survey among vegetarians claims that 1 in 3 of them eat meat when they're drunk... which is ironic because that's about the only time I eat vegetables.
For some reason, I've never had a fear of corn mazes. Seriously -- worst case syndrome: I'd have to eat my way out!
Facebook is testing out new buttons, besides "Like," in Spain and Ireland. Among your new options: Love, Haha, Yay, Wow, Sad and Angry. Still no WTF button.
Monday was Columbus Day, a government holiday not on the actual Columbus Day honoring someone who didn't really discover America first.
I don't know which was the bigger mistake--checking my mailbox twice on Columbus Day, or yelling at the neighbors and saying "hi" both times right before checking my mailbox on Columbus Day.
NASA says it has now found water on Pluto. So they now have proof of water on Mars, Pluto and parts of California.
A study says that 25% of people using Google immediately forget what they just looked up. Unfortunately, now I don't remember why I brought this up.
A study says that 62% of Americans have less than $1,000 in a savings account. Yay, I'm finally in the majority of something.
Whiz Khalifa was arrested in Pittsburgh over the weekend for taking a whiz in public. Seems redundant.
I suppose for police, it could have been worse. They could have taken a call for an incident involving the rapper, Big Dumper.
How about Benedict Cumberbatch as the next James Bond? Some people don't like the idea, but I think that's because he's an ex-Kahn.
A new study claims that 1 in 6 young people have stolen something within the past year. I'd tell you more, but one of the little bastards stole my report!
Playboy Magazine is going to drop the nude photos of women and starting next March, they'll only be partially nude. Remember how you always said you were only reading it for the articles? Soon, you will be.
The best part about Halloween -- you don't have to dust your house, it's all part of the Halloween decorations!
Burger King has introduced the Pumpkin Spice Oreo Shake... because, apparently, your diet has been working too well lately.
A photo bought for $2 in Fresno turned out to be an authentic photo -- and only the second know in existence -- of the famous outlaw, Billy the Kid. It showed him playing croquet... and yes, he was poison.
Bernie Sanders did quite well in the Democratic Debate. His biggest moment was when he said, "It's time for young people to get up, grab themselves by the bootstraps and get off of my lawn!"
Twitter has laid off 336 workers. I understand 140 of them were characters.
Toyota says its goal is to eliminate gasoline-only cars by 2050. Just in time for my kids to take away my keys.
Volkswagen continues to apologize for altering its diesel models to fake better gas mileage. They hope to regain your trust with improved diesel cars that get better gas mileage and can help you lose up to 30 unwanted pounds. Hey, wait a minute...
A New York City woman is suing her 12-year-old nephew for $127,000 after suffering a broken wrist when he hugged her at his birthday party. So much for "favorite aunt" status...
Rapper T.I. says that women are "too emotional" to be President of the U.S.. Who does he think he is? Donald Trump?
I know when I'm wanting a real fair and balanced perspective, the first place I turn to are rap artists.
From my buddy Skip Tucker: I got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing "Footloose" six times in a row. They told me I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.
FIVE WAYS CONGRESS PLANS TO DEAL WITH THE GOVERNMENT RUNNING OUT OF MONEY NOVEMBER 3RD
No work -- no pay!
Laying off their manicurist's personal trainer
Mandatory coupon cutting
Float $500-billion in checks and hope for the best
See if Groupon offers any deals on military items
MY TOP FIVE PERSONAL FAVORITE HALLOWEEN CAROLS
"Away and in Danger"
"The First 'No! Awwwwwww'!"
"It came upon a midnight, clearly trying to kill us!"