This Week's WACKS
Our 1,033rd Edition
"There are those who say it wasn't the wind blowing,
but instead, the Seahawks sucking"
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November 20th, 2015
A new study claims that 1 in every 5 New York City residents have mental problems. Yeah, I was surprised it was that low, too.
Justin Bieber is giving away albums with taxi rides. It might work, but don't expect it to be Uber successful.
An Arkansas man was injured when his e-cigarette exploded. He was treated for several 2nd-degree e-burns.
Researchers say that a sick sense of humor may signal the onset of dementia. I'll start getting my affairs in order...
Apple is working on a payment service that allows people to pay each other over their devices. Great! One more way to avoid looking at each other.
Bob Dole has endorsed Jeb Bush for President which seems strange since he's the last person I'd ask for advice on how to defeat a Clinton.
Donald Trump says that Americans' wages are "too high." Yeah, I was just complaining to my boss about that the other day...
Justin Bieber just dropped 11 new music videos. If that isn't considered an act of war, I don't know what is!
260,000 Kia Souls have been recalled for possible steering failures. The only trick now is to drive them back to the dealership.
Nordstrom's stock shares fell 15% in one day last week. Yeah, my wife had a cold that day...
A woman in Brooklyn is offering herself as a "Rent-A-Mom," for those who need a mom in their life. I was thinking about offering myself as a Rent-A-Dad. For $40 an hour, ask me any question and I'll respond, "Go ask your mother."
James Corden asks a good question: why is that when you add the word 'adult' to something, it becomes sad or creepy? Adult diapers, adult movies, adult bookstore...
A new survey claims that 61% of Americans admit to peeing in the shower. Needless to say, the percentage is much lower among those who prefer baths.
I'm offended by stores being open on Thanksgiving. The day should be about being with family, watching football & ignoring each other while texting.
The first Cat Cafe in Seattle is getting ready to open. For those wondering, I'm pretty sure they won't allow service dogs.
They say there could be a turkey shortage this year due to an outbreak of a deadly avian flu that killed eight million turkeys... before we could.
Adam Levine's newest tattoo -- a giant mermaid that covers his back. He looks like a giant Starbucks cup. That's right! No reference to Christmas, either.
I've got a smart phone, a smart watch and a smart TV. If I start getting an inferiority complex, it wouldn't surprise me.
I wonder how a guy who used lots of drugs and slept with dozens of hookers ended up getting H.I.V... ... said no one, ever.
The hacker group Anonymous has already shut down 3,824 pro-ISIS Twitter accounts. Keep this up & Anonymous could make a name for themselves!
People Magazine has chosen David Beckham as the Sexiest Man Alive. Obviously, reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.
Taco Bell says it will start using cage free eggs by the end of next year. Why they've even bothered keeping their eggs in a cage is beyond me. It's not like they're going to run away.
Mark Zuckerberg says that Facebook will be more intelligent than humans in another ten years. From some of the posts I've seen lately, I think we're already there.
The latest study on coffee claims it actually helps extend our lives! OK, we can stop with the studies now….
This just in: Bobby Jindal was running for president. Somehow, I missed the whole thing…..
The CDC says there has been an "alarming" increase in STDs over the past few years, mostly chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea…or, as Charlie Sheen refers to them as "the Trifecta."
Former "American Idol" winner Taylor Hicks' two original albums will be available digitally for the first time. Of course, the first question most people ask is, "Why?"
There is a new Barbie doll called Hello Barbie that is a high-tech interactive version of the toy, with over 8,000 phrases she uses to keep up conversation with you. The most often spoken phrase so far has been, "Eyes up here."
TOP FIVE POSSIBLE NAMES FOR A DISNEY-OWNED FOOTBALL TEAM IN LOS ANGELES
- The Rumpelstill Redskins
- The Splash Mountain Men
- The Caribbean Pirates
- The Wham Bambi's
- The Matterhorned Toads
TOP FIVE SIGNS WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO THANKSGIVING
- Turkey life insurance policies are selling like hot cakes
- Neighbors are hanging their Christmas lights
- Costco is putting the Valentine's Day stuff out
- You hear the phrase, "So what football games are on that day?" a lot
- You start feeling a little grateful for those Thanksgiving Day sales
Laugh a little, would ya?
Tim
PSPS---Detective Tim? Not a chance. The explanation on my blog
PSPSPS --Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
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PS6--NEW Slipping into holiday mode in this week's podcast...... right here.