This Week's WACKS
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December 11th, 2015

The next age group, after Millennials, is being called "Generation Z." Hard to believe it's already time for Millennials to pass the complaint torch to the next generation of kids saying the world is not fair.

My Elf on the Shelf says he's tired of the shelf and wants to try the kitchen counter for a while.

You know what they call it when an Elf on the Shelf takes a picture of himself? A Shelfie.

You know, maybe I'm over-thinking this, but it's not really Christmas until December 25th.

Vice President Biden met Monday with Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko and Prime Minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk, hoping the entire time he wouldn't have to correctly pronounce their names.

A study says that vegetarians are less optimistic about the future than meat eaters. Wait a minute -- don't vegetarians avoid meet so they get more future? So, they get more, but dread it? Pass the bacon!

A group in Colorado has started the "Stoner Jesus Bible Study" where they claim to get high to get closer to God. They only problem is that they can never remember what day it is, so they're always missing the service.

A study says a small amount of marijuana can cause schizophrenia. No it can't. Yes, it can!

A restaurant group is suing New York City over a rule requiring warning labels for sodium content. This healthy eating push is so out of control, the other day a restaurant owner was arrested "a salt and buttery" charges.

Former U.S.C. football coach Steve Sarkisian is suing the school for firing him. I'm afraid my interest in this one has jumped the Sark.

A new study says that eating or drinking calcium is the best way to reduce irritability. I need to start eating a yogurt while driving to work.

Rear Admiral David Baucom has been fired by the U.S. Navy for public drunkenness and nudity. Fortunately, he wasn't a Front Admiral.

From my pal, Skip Tucker: "I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos."

Kanye and Kim named their new son, 'Saint.' I'm guessing the next one will be Sinner, to complete the set.

A new survey says that 1 in 3 Americans do NOT give tips at Christmas, to people like postal workers, garbage collectors, etc. This could explain why, the day after Christmas, all my mail is on my roof and my mailbox is full of garbage.

Michigan's state Senate just repealed 80 outdated laws including one that banned people from trespassing on a huckleberry marsh. Tomorrow, we hit the marsh. My plan is working perfectly...

In Florida, a naked man was arrested for going 110 mph while drunk. What was most impressive -- he wasn't even in a car!

It turns out over 50 members of Congress still haven't paid back their student loans. Isn't that shocking -- there are people in congress who went to college?

I'd love to buy skinny jeans. Unfortunately, I don't have skinny genes.

Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones is going to be a dad again, at age 68, of twins?  When it comes to who will change the diapers, I imagine the kids will probably flip a coin.

Some Star Wars fans have already started forming lines in front of movie theaters, 12 days before the new opens.  What is it about 12 days and this time of year?

I'm still waiting for Donald Trump to say, "Did I say Muslims?  I meant Kardashians!"

Arnold Schwarzenegger says he's going to become a "part-time vegetarian" to cut down his carbon footprint.  I'm also going to reduce my footprint on this planet by walking less.

Veterinarians in Los Angeles have created the first test-tube puppies. Thank God, we don't have to worry about a shortage.

Amazon's CEO Jeff Bezos will earn $29.5-billion this year. And, of course, because he's a Prime member, he'll get in just two days.


  1.     "Red noser, Red noser, send somebody over"
  2.     "Call of Duty: Red Ops 3"
  3.     "Dodge Meadow"
  4.     "Truth or Deer"
  5.     "Fox, Fox, Christmas Goose"


  1.     The old "Nair in the Beard Cream" trick
  2.     The elves teaching the reindeer to "play dead" when they try to pull Santa
  3.     Any clothes that are red. The rest of the year, he's in Tommy Bahama.
  4.     Mrs. Claus putting a bathroom scale in every room
  5.     Wish lists with links to the things on the list


  1.     After Christmas, making soup out of the tree
  2.     Mistletoe rings
  3.     4-Bean Reindeer Food
  4.     Gargling with Eggnog Caroling
  5.     Leaving a Pitbull out for Santa

Laugh a little, would ya?         

PS---Oh, yeah, it's that weekend.  Confirmation on my Facebook Post of the Week!
PSPS---Hey, I'm married to the person of the year. Details on my blog
PSPSPS --Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack
PS6--NEW More holiday fun on this week's podcast right  here.