This Week's WACKS
Our 1,037th Edition
"I'll log if yule log"
Available on a daily basis through Radio On-line
Click here for a free trial
December 18th, 2015
A Los Angeles home listed for $45-million includes a $12,000 coffee maker. For that much money, the coffee maker better make coffee and spell the name on my cup wrong.
China's cyber chief is playing down concerns over the country's Internet censorship. And that's all we know...
Actually, a Chinese government official says that the average Chinese citizen has the right to express any opinion they want that's allowed.
United Airlines is bringing back free snacks on their flights. Now, if they could just bring back United Airlines.
United Airlines says it's bringing back free snacks on their flights... which, you probably should save so that once you land, you have something to eat while waiting to find out where your luggage went.
A survey says that 1 in 5 Americans expects to die in debt. I plan to die completely debt-free. Now, the only trick is living until I'm 159.
81-year-old Willard Scott retired from the "Today" show Tuesday morning. This means he'll have to wait 19 years to be mentioned again, sponsored by Smuckers.
My hair and the price of oil seem to be in a race -- which one will fall faster?
In his interview with People Magazine, Bernie Sanders said that his grandchildren sometimes call him "Grandpa Bern." Which sounds more like a complaint than a nickname.
During a photo shoot for Time Magazine, a bald eagle tried to attack Donald Trump. You have to wonder what changed the eagle's mind?
The University of Vermont has announced that they will now offer a course on the science of marijuana. Yeah, I major in Marijuana studies, but I'm a minor in taverns.
Nine Republican candidates debated last night in Las Vegas, or as Hillary Clinton called it, "Odds of winning none in 9."
A new report claims that toxic algae is causing brain damage among coastal sea lions. Several have been spotted wearing Jeb Bush campaign buttons.
Can't help but notice that if you take the 'h' off of hoverboards... you have overboard.
Budweiser has rolled out its first alcoholic root beer. Suddenly, I have this craving for a root beer float!
Seen on Facebook: Half the day I wonder if it's too late for coffee, the other half I spend wondering if it's too early for alcohol.
NBC has canceled Neil Patrick Harris' "Best Time Ever." Apparently, it wasn't.
Tom Brady hasn't endorsed him -- yet -- but he does call Donald Trump "a good friend." I suppose if Trump's elected, that he can always call on Brady if inflation becomes a problem.
Bottles of fresh air from Canada are hot sellers in China. You'd think there wouldn't be a lot of money in air you can't see, but that's actually a rarity in China.
Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred has ruled that Pete Rose will still continue his lifetime ban from baseball because of gambling. I wonder how much money Pete lost on that one...
A former Google VP says that machines will be emotionally intelligent by next year. Oh yeah, that's what I need: driving to work in a car that's feeling depressed and suicidal.
Fortunately, I don't think it could hurt itself at 5 mph.
Italian archaeologists have discovered an ancient Roman shipwreck that was carrying thousands of jars of ketchup. We'll assume the shipment of French fries made it.
A: A quarter of a point
Q: How many good points were made the other night in the Republican debate?
A study says that as many as 80% of employers face prescription drug misuse by workers. O.K., which one of your 20% talked?
America's newest warship, the half billion dollar USS Milwaukee has broken down after only 20 days at sea. The tough part is going to be getting it towed back to the dealership.
AAA says that Americans traveling for the holidays could top 100-million for the first time. What would the Christmas Eve news be without showing stranded travelers in an airport?
Richard Simmons says he's OK. He just wants to be a recluse and stay out of the public eye. Now all we need is an address to send the thank you cards to……
SANTA'S TOP FIVE MOST ANNOYING PHRASES (AT LEAST THE ELVES THINK SO)
- "Oh, you're pulling my sleigh"
- "Remember, ho-ho-ho backwards is oh-oh-oh!"
- "You know, back in my day... uh, I forget!"
- "Alright, you elves, don't get short with me!"
- "Uh, it was the reindeer."
TOP FIVE POPULAR SLOGANS AT THE TIME OF THE FIRST CHRISTMAS
- Motel 1: "We'll keep the star up for you"
- Roman Guards: "We'll pick you up"
- Manger Scene: "The next big thing is here!"
- Mazda Chariots: "Zoom Zoom"
- Roman Empire -- "We're everywhere you want to be"
Laugh a little, would ya?
Tim
PSPS---The biggest way this Christmas will be different. Details on my blog
PSPSPS --Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook? So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack
PS6--NEW Putting on the holiday funnies pretty thick this week on my podcast