This Week's WACKS
Our 1,038th Edition
"Or, as I like to say to Brad Pitt, Have a Holly Jolie Christmas!"
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December 23rd, 2015

EDITOR'S NOTE:  This is the final WACK of 2015.  I was doing the math--1,038 of these weekly joke collections, 52 weeks in a year....wow!  I've been posting these funnies for close to 20 years.  I have to say I wouldn't and couldn't have done it without the support of Ron & Lisa Chase from Radio-Online, Jay Leno, Frank King, Steve Kelley and Mark Merchant, who fuel my comedy-writing addiction and actually use most of the material I write.  Thank you as well, for not authentically sending me into your spam filter each week.  Wishing you and yours a merry Christmas!

In case you missed it last week, here's my WACKY WEEK video Christmas card. 

A Saudi man's family is calling for a divorce after his wife kissed a camel. Let that be a lesson to you: always choose a camel that doesn't tell.

Anyone see a movie this weekend?

Scientists are saying that an asteroid over a mile wide is going to pass by Earth on Christmas Eve, but they say it PROBABLY won't hit the Earth. I can almost hear them announcing my winning lotto numbers now...

Barbara Walters named Kaitlyn Jenner her "Most Fascinating Person of 2015." The "Least Interesting Person Award" was a 20-way tie among the presidential candidates.

If you were to buy the entire "12 Days of Christmas" this year, it would cost you $34,130. Plus, of course, clean up.

Wish list apps are replacing letters to Santa Claus. How much longer is it going to be before Santa moves from the North Pole to Amazon?

There's a new app out that can turn your phone into a walkie-talkie. Of course, my question: why?

Now you can understand why Donald Trump wants Steve Harvey in charge of announcing who wins the presidency.

There's so much hype over the new Star Wars movie. Now Christmas knows how Thanksgiving feels.

Shocking news: Senator Lindsey Graham has dropped out of the presidential race. The shocking part is that I didn't know he was still in.

In England, parents of a 3-year-old are legally changing his name from Diesel to Popcorn. Apparently the other kids weren't teasing him enough.

I'm sorry, but I don't have any new Steve Harvey jokes for you today. I'm sorry, that's wrong. Yes, I do.

To make matters worse, today I got an Easter Card from Steve Harvey.

Archaeologists now think that Stonehenge was originally delivered by IKEA and the guy who ordered it just couldn't figure out how to put it together.

OK, I officially hate it when Facebook remembers more about the past year than I do.

Google is teaming up with Ford to create some self-driving cars. Of course, that would kill their slogan, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

TOP FIVE FAVORITE STAR WARS CAROLS

  1.     "All I want for Christmas is Chew..bacca"
  2.     "Blast Christmas!"
  3.     "It's beginning to look like the dark side is going to win"
  4.     "Up on the Spaceship"
  5.     "God rest ye many Stormtroopers"

TOP FIVE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN STAR WARS AND THE CHRISTMAS STORY

  1.     In both, a deep booming voice says, "I am your father"
  2.     In Star Wars, they were star traveling. In the Christmas story, there was a traveling star
  3.     Star Wars had a C-3PO. The manger's address was P.O. Box C-3, Bethlehem, Judea
  4.     Both take place during the time of an evil empire
  5.     Both have a character named Luke

Have a merry Christmas and see you in 2016.  Oh, and laugh a little, would ya?         
       
   Tim

PS---Let's be careful out there.  Facebook Post of the Week!
PSPS---The details on my own little Christmas music miracle, right here on my blog
PSPSPS --Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack
PS6--NEW It's a holiday funnies blowout this week on my podcast