This Week's WACKS
Our 1,046th Edition
"I started with nothing and I still have most of it"
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February 26th, 2016

Adele took her son to Disneyland dressed up as Anna from "Frozen." May I be the first to say.....Hello?

Kanye West tweeted that his number one enemy is his ego. His ego then tweeted, "Kanye who?"

McDonald's has started selling beer in its restaurants in South Korea. They go great with their "Very Very Happy Meals."

Nerf has unveiled a new gun that shoots projectiles at 68 MPH. Thank you, Nerf, for making Red Ryder BB guns look safe.

A New York company has introduced the Infinity Burial Suit, that uses mushroom spores to help the body decompose. I've always liked to think of myself as a fungi.

Former President Bill Clinton was in Las Vegas last week, pressing the flesh. And he was campaigning for Hillary, too!

Jeb Bush has dropped out of the Republican presidential race. Ironically, for the Bush family, he's the one child left behind.

Maserati has unveiled its new deluxe SUV. It's designed for those who like to get back from their camping trips in a hurry.

Rapper 50 Cent has been ordered to court to explain why he is declaring bankruptcy while posting photos on Instagram surrounded by large amounts of cash. In an unrelated story, rapper Broke Chapter 11 isn't being asked anything.

A study says that Hawaii leads the nation in adults getting enough sleep. We called to get a comment, but they weren't up yet.

A Brazilian woman had surgery that reportedly left her with a case of kleptomania. At least that now explains where her hospital bed went.

So, Donald Trump wins Nevada. What were the odds? No, seriously, I was wondering what the odds were.

Dick Van Dyke has recorded an endorsement for Bernie Sanders for President. He didn't go as far as singing (to the tune of "Chim-Chimney"), "Bern-Bernie-Bern, Bern-Bernie-Bern, Bern-Bern-Bernie...please vote for Bernie and not Hillary!"

Next week is "Super Tuesday"... which is immediately followed by "See ya later Wednesday."

A U.K. woman reportedly killed her boyfriend because he spent too much time on Facebook. Hey, guys, she's available!

Jeb Bush spent $130-million in his failed presidential run. Spending $130-million for absolutely nothing -- sounds like presidential material to me!

John Kasich says it's not fair for him to be criticized for saying he got the support of women who "left the kitchen" to vote for him. Hey John, if you can't stand the heat, follow those women.

Allstate Insurance says that driverless cars could threaten their business. To play it safe, they're changing their slogan to, "You're in good sensors with Allstate."

A study says that coffee may protect the liver from damage done by alcohol. If we're talking a cup for a cup, I'm saved!!!

Canadians have been banned from testing online for the show "Jeopardy!" I wonder what that's all about? (notice my reaction was in the form of a question)

The Chicago Cubs have been listed as a 4-1 favorite to win the World Series. Waiter, I'll have what they're having.

I want to know -- before the game of golf was invented, how did they describe golf ball sized hail?

Lego has announced that to "mirror the world we live in today" the company will be adding working mom, handicapped, and stay-at-home dad figurines.  They're holding off on "college grad who moved back in" and their assorted "in-laws that won't leave" line until we're closer to the holidays…..

Brazil is planning to zap mosquitoes with radiation to halt the spread of Zika. Can Godzika be far behind?

The actor who plays the Dos Equis "Most interesting man in the world" is being sued by his former manager. He doesn't always get sued, but when he does, it's by his former manager.

I was thinking that it's a good thing the presidential election isn't like soccer, where it could end up a tie.  Then again, I don't see any way of winning this one anyway…..

A new study says that 45% of American taxpayers don't pay any taxes, the really, really rich and the really, really poor.  So carrying those people-the really, really rest of us.


  1.     Play football instead
  2.     Whoopee bases
  3.     Sneak in water balloon baseballs
  4.     Instead of "Take me out to the ballgame" sing "Uptown Funk"
  5.     After six scoreless innings, release a few lions


  1.     New campaign flag is all white
  2.     Campaign headquarters being rented by the day
  3.     His new book is called "Who wants an endorsement?"
  4.     Orders "easy peel" bumper stickers
  5.     Campaign rally scheduled at drive-through window

Laugh a little, would ya?         

PS--What teachers can't say to students anymore in our Facebook Post of the Week!
PSPS---You know, it really is a small one. This week's blog
PSPSPS --Check out this week's new 'toon and archives full of Ima Norwegian!
PSPSPSPS--Are you on Facebook?  So am I, right here
PSPSPSPSPS---Follow Tim's Tweets on Twitter @timwack
PS6--NEW A little sports, a little bit of confusion in this week's podcast