THIS WEEK'S WACK
Our 1,051st Edition
March 32nd, 2016
"Have you seen the price of gas? April Fuels!"
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SPECIAL EDITION: We're starting off this week's edition with the announcement of a brand new holiday!
Playboy Enterprises is up for sale. It could be yours for $500-million. The trick then would be trying to fit the entire company under your bed.
A truck belonging to Anheuser-Busch crashed into a Frito-Lay rig, spilling beer and chips all over a Florida highway. In other news, I’ve gotta go to Florida.
Comedian Kevin Hart has signed a deal to write his memoirs. It’ll be a coffee table book, so he’ll be able to reach it.
In Florida, an Anheuser-Busch truck collided with a Frito-Lay truck, spilling beer and chips all over the highway. Hundreds of adult Easter Egg hunts were suddenly canceled.
A study says that high lead levels have been found in some chocolates. So far, the biggest question being asked is, "So, what's your point?"
23,000 people have signed a petition to allow firearms inside the Republican National Convention in Cleveland in July. What could possibly go wrong?
Former CIA Director Michael Hayden says that Donald Trump gives waterboarding a bad name. Meanwhile, waterboarding is asking that you not connect him with Donald Trump.
So, the FBI has cracked into that terrorist's iPhone without any help from Apple. Worst customer support ever.
There's a new Oreo in town: Strawberry Shortcake Oreo. My suggestion of Single-Malt Scotch Oreos continues to be ignored...
Scientists say that the fossilized skull of a Siberian Unicorn has been found. I know, you were thinking they never really existed but yes, scientists are real.
Melissa Etheridge says she considered Brad Pitt as a sperm donor before choosing David Crosby. I guess I'm surprised I wasn't asked, since I fall somewhere between the two... mostly on the Crosby side.
I don't remember which late night TV host said it, but it was along the lines of "I went to a Donald Trump rally the other day and a hockey game broke out!"
I was saying the other day that I'm a bit concerned that the F.B.I. managed to crack into iPhones. But Siri told me not to worry about it.
I see a day in the not-too-distant future where the entire family will sit around with virtual reality headgear, experiencing in 3D what it must be like for a whole family to be sitting around together.
Richard Sherman has 28 career NFL interceptions. Wednesday was his 28th birthday. Coincidence? Why, yes.
McDonald's has introduced a new slogan, "the simpler the better." I'm going to assume that's in reference to the food, not the customers.
North Korea is telling its citizens to prepare for "famine and economic hardship." Well, if you start with low expectations, there's nowhere to go but up.
An Australian woman has a condition which enables her to remember every detail of her life. Usually, that part of the brain is reserved for all the things her husband has done wrong.
Donald Trump's campaign manager is facing charges for grabbing a female reporter's arm. The end result could be time in jail or an NFL contract.
You know that Egypt Air hijacker that commandeered a flight last week? it was all an attempt to deliver a love letter to his ex-wife who he was trying to win back. To all those would-be hijackers listening out there, three words: "Buy flowers instead."
There is a new tell-all book coming out about the Kardashians. One question: how could we possibly not know something about them?
TOP FIVE TITLES OF CHILDREN'S STORIES REWRITTEN TO PROMOTE GUNS
TOP FIVE SIGNS THE EASTER BUNNY IS REALLY BURNING OUT ON HIS JOB
- "Dirty Harry Potter"
- "Jack, the Giant and the AK47"
- "The boy who shot wolf"
- "James and the Giant Uzi"
- "The Winchester of Oz"
Laugh a little, would ya?
- This year, made half of his delivery using Amazon Bunny Drones
- Not as careful hiding eggs. Now throwing them like Justin Bieber
- There's that "Burned Out Bunny" tattoo on his left arm
- Sick of being asked, "Are those gluten-free?"
- Occasionally smokes plastic grass
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian
. A new cartoon every week!