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THIS WEEK'S WACK
Our 1,052nd Edition
April 8th, 2016
"Remember, it's the little things that make big things seem large!"
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According to a new study, 1 in every 8 humans on the planet are considered obese. They say it could be 1 in 5 by 2025 and that would rhyme.
Thank God April Fool's Day is behind us. Now we can get back to hearing things that aren't true and know we're just watching another debate.
Anderson Cooper told Donald Trump that he acts like a five-year-old. Trump held his breath until Cooper apologized.
Baby names based on the characters from "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" are very popular, like Rey and Kylo. My son, R2D2, says those kids are lucky.
A "cannabis club" in Colorado is giving away free joints to people who volunteer to clean up parts of the community. It's working out beautifully. People go out, do some volunteer work and then forget to come in for their freebie.
From my buddy, Dale Amundsen, "Celery is 75% water and 100% not pizza."
A survey says 44% of Americans can't sleep at night, mostly because of worries about their job. I don't know about you, but that's where I usually catch up on my sleep. Which may be why I'm worried about it.
A 100-year-old California woman has been evicted from her apartment for reportedly making too much noise arguing with her daughter. So, were they really arguing or was the daughter just speaking up so she could be heard?
A study says that one in five people in the world will be obese by 2025. I'm doing my part.
I came from an ethnically diverse neighborhood. As kids, we used to play Hide and Seek with real Sikhs.
Taylor Swift won 5 iHeartRadio Music Awards over the weekend and has begun construction on her 14th fireplace mantel.
Simon Fuller, the creator of "American Idol" is already working on a way to bring the show back. I'm reminded of the old phrase, "How can we miss you if you won't go away?"
Spain says it may drop its custom of siesta to shorten the work day by two hours. Well, I'll go along with it as long as I still get my nap.
Toyota is teaming up with Microsoft to be able to deliver cars that offer more connected services. My only concern would be if a crash could cause you to crash.
Quick.com, one of the first domain names to be registered is up for auction. Needless to say, if you're interested, you should hurry.
Janet Jackson is delaying her “Unbreakable” tour. Apparently, something broke.
North Korea officially announced it is blocking Facebook. They have no Seoul.
This week is the 43rd anniversary of the first cellphone call. We don’t know where it took place or where the person was driving.
Ted Cruz said that a "white knight" is not going to parachute into the Republican convention and walk away with the nomination. Although the way it’s been going, it wouldn’t surprise me if several people dressed up as white knights attended the convention.
Shows starring kids are all the rage these days, like “Little Big Shots” and “Master Chef Junior”. They were working on a kid version of “24”, called “11” because the hero, little Jackie Bauer, has to save the world and be in bed by 7.
Warner Brothers is reportedly working on a new Speedy Gonzales movie. Obviously, because the price of a cartoon wall is much cheaper.
A California woman has turned her home into a sanctuary for 1,000 cats. Her story will be told in a new movie, “The Woman With No Chance Of A Date.”
Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wants to reduce Spain's three-hour siesta to one hour. Ironically, the decision has kept him up at night.
The International Contortionists Convention is happening this week in Las Vegas. It’s like a job fair—many attend, hoping to find out about a new position.
TOP FIVE SIGNS THE TOOTH FAIRY DOESN'T LIKE YOU
- Leaves behind a note that says, "The tooth? The tooth? You can't handle the tooth!"
- Left a unicorn head under your pillow (after having just watched The Godfather)
- Leaves an IOU
- Keeps putting the tooth back in your mouth while you sleep
- Under your pillow: a dry cleaner coupon
TOP FIVE ATTRACTIONS AT SHANGHAI'S NEW DISNEYLAND OPENING THIS SUMMER
- No Space Mountain
- Tom Sawyer's Island But We Own It
- Mr. Toad's Wild Shoe Factory
- Sleeping Beauty's dungeon
- It's a censored world after all
Laugh a little, would ya?
 PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian. A new cartoon every week! |
