PS--Don't forget about our friend,
Remember back when the biggest concern we had about public restrooms was if the door was unlocked?
Mexico is taking steps to try and prevent Donald Trump from becoming president. Wouldn't it funny if they built a wall around him?
Last Thursday, 3,000 suitcases were lost in one day at the Phoenix Airport... or, as they refer to the incident, "a personal best."
Pfizer has pulled the drugs it makes that are used for executions. That seems kinda weird. So, the drugs that are designed to kill people could be harmful?
From radio brother Matt Case--Found out today your supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house....just trying to help.
They've figured out that Mark Zuckerberg actually earns $4.4-milion every day of his life. That's almost $4.4-million more than I do.
Kellogg's has launched Orange Crush and A-and-W Root Beer flavored Pop-Tarts. Apparently, our eating healthy trend is taking a u-turn.
The FDA is warning that sweetener used in chewing gum could be deadly for dogs. Although, if I may make a suggestion -- don't let your dog chew gum.
Doctors in Ireland had to surgically remove a cellphone that a man had swallowed. Hopefully he made enough from the bet to cover the doctor bills.
Great -- we can find Sinead O'Connor, but we can't lose a single presidential candidate.
McDonald's is testing hamburgers made with fresh beef. To which I have to ask -- shouldn't they have been doing that all along?
And they're testing it, why? Like using fresh ingredients is an experiment?
A poisonous copperhead snake bit a customer at a North Carolina Lowe's store. I suppose she should be happy she wasn't shopping at High's.
A new study claims that people who go to church live longer. I'm not sure that the Easter/Christmas only thing counts.
I think we can all agree that the lesson we can take from this week is: never pick up a baby buffalo and put it in your car.
A movie based on the game "Tetris" will begin filming next year. My guess is it'll start slow, go fast and be over in 2-minutes.
A study by British doctors says that people's thoughts continue after their heart stops. Of course, I was thinking that while feeling my chest at the same time.
A Burger King restaurant in Finland is opening an in-store spa. Is that a Whopper in the sauna or are you just happy to see me?
A new study claims that the average person spends .45% of their life having sex. (I'll just assume you saw that period before the percentage) By all accounts, I should be dead by now. I guess that means I'll live to be 150, huh?
Remember, you're the only person who pull off your own identify theft flawlessly.
Ozzy Osbourne has ended his affair with his hair stylist. Now the tough part -- no, not patching things up with Sharon -- finding a new stylist.
Bumpersticker seen in New York: "I drive too fast to worry about cholesterol."
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU REALLY NEED A DAY OFF
TOP FIVE SUPERHEROES THAT NEVER CAUGHT ON
- They've named the new metal detector after you
- You were voted by fellow employees as the "Co-Worker Most Likely to Crack"
- You decided to paint your computer screen
- You just locked the CEO in a locker
- You keep humming the company fight song and there is no company fight song
- Ben Carson
- Giggle Girl
- Not overly-dependable man
- The Greased Pig
- Fungus Fellow
Laugh a little, would ya?