Google says it's working on making their self-driving cars to honk. Yeah, that's what we need on the road.
A report says young voters have given up on the government. I believe the term for that is "maturing."
A New Jersey woman is walking a casket 80-miles to raise awareness for mental health. There's a blurry line...
Researchers say they may have found the site of the original Alamo. Ironic that no one remembered where it was.
Researchers have pinpointed the "world's ugliest color," a brownish green hue called opaque couche. It's so ugly, the other Crayola crayons refuse to be in a box with it.
Office space sharing company WeWork says it is cutting 7% of its staff. Those let go are probably saying "We! We! We!" all the way home.
Toyota says their cars will soon have the technology to learn a person's driving habits so they can correct their mistakes. Unlike my wife, this new technology will be in the front seat.
A new study claims that first-born children are smarter than their siblings. Well, duh. (guess where I fall in that pecking order?)
Of course, I have two younger sisters who would argue that...
A Florida man is trying to get the name of Lake Horney changed because... well, because it's Lake Horney.
Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a ticket if he doesn't have a license.
The Bunyadi, London's first nude restaurant, opens this weekend. Just as a suggestion, may I recommend you don't order the Sizzling Fajitas.
The restaurant had a soft opening earlier in the week. And this is where I get out...
A report says robots will take over most jobs by 2045. Can we start working on the presidential edition now?
A study says that eating plastic has made fish slower and more stupid, which should help me catch them, once I figure out which end of the fishing pole to hold.
Bernie Sanders is apparently so intent on continuing his campaign, he may run for president again next year.
Bernie Sanders met with President Obama yesterday. Sanders says he refuses to give up and looks forward to taking over for Obama in January. To which Obama replied, “Who said I’m leaving?”
Scientists have found evidence of Hobbit-like humans on the Indonesian island of Flores. They were 2/3’s the size of what we consider a normal-sized human and apparently sucked at basketball.
There’s a new study that claims fish can recognize human faces. That explains all that laughing coming from the lake on my last fishing trip.
Burger King has introduced the “Whopperito”, a hamburger served inside a tortilla. What’s next? Taco Bell serving un-cooked Quesadillas and calling them Quese-raws?
The NFL’s Twitter account was hacked, with a message sent out that Commissioner Roger Goodell had died. In a related story, that party this weekend at Tom Brady’s house has been canceled.
A 500-year-old shipwreck carrying gold has been found in the Namibian desert. Further proof that some guys just won’t admit they made a wrong turn.
You know, if Trump really wants to build a wall so badly, may I suggest the Gorilla cage at the Cincinnati Zoo to keep the idiots out?
TOP FIVE REASONS MOM HAS FOR THROWING AWAY YOUR BARBIES
- How do you think I paid for the condo in Miami?
- I didn't throw them away. They simply hopped in that Barbie car you got for your birthday and just left!
- It was my way of punishing Ken for leaving Barbie for Skipper
- I didn't throw them away, it was that notorious "Barbie Burglar"
- Since they were new and still in the box, I thought you didn't like them
TOP FIVE SIGNS THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT DIDN'T LIKE ME
- Midway through the flight, asked if I wanted to go outside for a walk
- Kept unbuckling my seatbelt when asleep
- You asked for scotch rocks and she gave you scotch with real rocks
- Cut the tube on my emergency air mask
- Put up sign that said "No (your name)" over emergency exit
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, 
