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Our 1,070th Edition
August 12th, 2016

"Missed a Friday the 13th by THAT much!""
These jokes are available on a daily basic
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Victoria's Secret had a "Back to School" sale last Friday. At what age do you shop for your kids at THAT sale?

Or was it more for your favorite teacher?

Yesterday was the last day of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. Well, that explains the black arm bands I've been seeing...

A U.N. report is suggesting that meat be taxed until it is too expensive to eat. Why don't we experiment with liver?

The Google robot car has had another crash. Part of me wonders if the guy who invented this car is the same guy writing ad libs for Donald Trump?

It basically boils down to this: half of Trump's supporters wish he wasn't the Republican candidate and the other half wish he was running as a Democrat.

Japanese Emperor Akihito went on TV yesterday that he would abdicate in the next couple of years. The Queen of England did not.

A 90-year-old Massachusetts man was arrested after claiming he was ripped off by a prostitute. Dig out the old "evidence won't stand up in court" line here...

A new study claims that Americans check their cellphones up to 300 times a day. And those are just the people behind you at the movie theater!

Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim is pushing for a three-day work week. I think I've found my write-in candidate!

President Obama has played his 300th round of golf, as president. Biden only caddied around half of those.

Delta Airliners had to cancel all their departures yesterday because of a computer glitch. A spokesman said their computer "went all United on them."

Weird day. I checked my spam filter and found actual Spam in it. Ew.

A new survey finds that Hillary Clinton has more support in the marijuana industry than Donald Trump. Apparently, that's the secret.

Bill Murray has a good point. In every Olympic event, they should have one average person competing for reference.

Today is Herbert Hoover's birthday. It was long thought that his presidency was the biggest disaster ever. Herbert, you're getting close to passing the baton...

What's that they say Delta stands for? Don't Expect to Leave the Airport.

A new study says that Delta is the safest airline out there. In a related story, it's because all of their jets are on the ground.

Kourtney Kardashian says she is OK if "The Kardashians" is canceled. And I had been so worried... ...

And when I say medaling, I mean Olympics medaling... not Wikileaks/Putin meddling.

Remember, the amount of hurry that you're in is directly proportionate to the number of drinks the person in front of you at Starbucks will order.

A new report says that men today are weaker than they were 30 years ago. I wanted to read more, but the report was too heavy.

It's always fun to flip on the game on TV and watch the fans in the stands, all staring down at their phones...

Macy's announced yesterday they're going to close 100 of their 675 stores in 2017. If they had only not sent all those people over to Gimbel's... Damn you, Santa!!!

A study says 6 million Americans are drinking water that has toxic chemicals. That number jumps to 322-million if you include sugar as a toxic chemical.


  1. "Ring doorbell once for Hillary, twice for Trump"
  2. "Help! I think what's inside is highly contagious!"
  3. "Exploding doorbell -- push at own risk"
  4. "Welcome to Cannibal Club Meeting"
  5. "Push button to launch missiles"


  1. Every morning when you leave for work, vultures circle you
  2. Let's be honest -- pouring on cologne doesn't hide the scent
  3. You've had the same box of laundry detergent since '08
  4. Really, you can only reverse underwear so many times
  5. Your stack of dirty clothes is now higher than your bed
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
Copyright ©2016 All rights reserved, but get boisterous when drunk

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