Researchers say they have found 2,000-year-old silver and gold scrolls inscribed with ancient curses in Serbia. This sounds like the opening scene for the movie, "The Mumminski."
Hillary Clinton's economic policy is being called "Family First," as she hopes it turns her into "First Family."
One of Donald Trump's top advisers, Thomas Barrack says he is telling Trump to stop the name calling and quit being a poopy-headed dolt. Yeah, some habits are hard to break.
Delta is offering $200 to passengers stranded by the recent computer failure. In a related story, Delta has introduced a new $200 baggage fee.
They say that Tom Cruise hasn't seen his daughter Suri in three years. Although, he does talk to her on his iPhone all the time.
I'm thinking, when they caught that guy climbing the Trump Tower with suction cups, all that did was point out to Donald that his new wall probably shouldn't be made out of glass.
Google has introduced Duo -- their version of Skype, that allows you to video call someone and actually see them in the movie theater, rather than just talking to them.
Donald Trump is calling for "extreme vetting" of immigrants to the United States. Voters are wishing we'd do the same thing for presidential candidates.
Justin Bieber has quit Instagram. Be strong.
The Game claims he had sex with three members of the Kardashian family in a new song. In other words, he's the Every Man.
There's a Triple-Jump event in the Olympics? That's the name of my morning coffee drink!
The smog in Los Angeles is at its highest levels since 2009. This was confirmed the other day when scientists launched a weather balloon into the sky and it got stuck.
Amber Heard and Johnny Depp reached a divorce settlement on Tuesday. Hey girls, most of Johnny is now available!
Donald Trump has shuffled around his campaign management, hoping to do better in the ratings. A case of laryngitis would probably do the same thing.
And it looks like Brazil is walking away with the gold in the 4-swimmer mugging event! And a few wallets.....
Researchers have discovered the region of the brain that is responsible for generosity. Each of them keep trying to give credit to the others for discovering it.
Some U.S. Senators are calling for an end to airline IT meltdowns. It’s a crazy hunch on my part, but my guess is that they’re not planned.
How long will it be before someone at works claims they’re late because they were robbed at gunpoint?
New England police say there is a deadly heroin going around that is labeled “Game of Thrones.” They’ve asked addicts to especially avoid the Red Wedding Blend.
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU NEED MORE COFFEE
- Your coffee cup is empty
- You just accidentally made 1-million copies of something you didn't really need
- You started snoring during your job review
- OK, at least it's only the first time this week you forgot pants
- You just drove to your previous job
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOUR CANDIDATE'S CAMPAIGN IS DOOMED
- Just bought the website, Campaign is Doomed dot com
- Holding a "Write my concession speech" contest
- If he had picked another running mate other than General Custer
- Vegas has suspended betting on him losing
- Official campaign flags are all-white
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, 
