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Our 1,078th Edition
October 7th, 2016

"The longest journey always begins."
These jokes are available on a daily basic
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A study says people suffering from acne may live longer. If you were looking for the key to longevity, that's zit.

Sorry, but in my world, EVERY day is National Coffee Day.

Kiefer Sutherland says he admires Julia Roberts for calling off their wedding in 1991. And during that stressful 24 hours, events occurred in real time.

Always follow your dreams. The odds are likely that they'll lead you to the restroom.

I saw this on a readerboard the other day -- "I'm not superstitious. Just a little stitious."

A poll says 29% of Americans trust the media's fact checking of candidates. But only .3% actually believe that poll.

Ferrari has already sold out all 200 of their new $2.2-million supercars. They come complete with a turbo engine, leather interior and six speeding tickets.

Tonight is the vice-presidential debate, if you've been having trouble sleeping lately...

Kim Kardashian was bound and gagged when robbers broke into her hotel room. She was immediately unbound... but they're still debating on whether to remove the gag.

This is the week that they announce the Nobel Peace Prize winners. I'm pretty sure this will have nothing to do with our presidential election.

I didn't see Monday night's premier of the new time-traveling series, "Timeless." Kind of funny to think I taped it, so I could watch a show where they go back in time on another night.

A study by the University of Nebraska says that telemarketers are more likely to permanently lose their voices. Of course, the big question: when?

Melissa Etheridge has slammed Angelina Jolie and stood up for Brad Pitt. We have no idea who asked.

The one and only vice-presidential debate was last night. Don't you just love that phrase? "One and only... "

It turns out that Yahoo secretly scanned all the emails of everyone that had an account with them. So apparently, they also know how much I suck at picking football games.

Ford has announced they're bringing back the Bronco. They didn't need to announce that a former football player will not be the spokesperson.

A report says the U.S. is the healthiest nation in the world. You know, we were just talking about this the other day at Dunkin Donuts' happy hour.

Is denial on the rise in the United States? Absolutely not!

Former USC and Raiders quarterback Todd Marinovich is being charged in connection with a nude break-in attempt of a home in Irvine, California.  I’m just afraid to ask where he was carrying his I.D.

Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a pair of socks meant to be worn with sandals from 2,000 years ago. They figured the guy was married because they were found on the floor.

The ratings on the Vice-Presidential debate were down. My guess is that because the candidates were talking all over each other, people tuning thought they stumbled across an episode of “The View” and left.


  1. To help make himself more scary, wearing both Hillary and Trump buttons
  2. For vacation relief, hires Gilbert Gottfried
  3. After a terrifying scream says, "Excuse me"
  4. Keeps showing up during the day
  5. Instead of saying "boo," it says "boop-boop-bee-doo"
  1. There was a crooked manslaughter
  2. Jack be nimble, Jack be sick
  3. Mary had a little silence of the lambs
  4. Jack and the Bean Stalker
  5. Peter, Peter, Sister Eater
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
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