I'm out of sorts. Has anyone got a spare sort I can borrow?
Starbucks has come out with a green "Unity Cup." It's about people coming together. In Seattle, we came together... to watch a Sonics basketball game... but the owner of Starbucks, Howard Schultz, sold the team to a guy who moved them to Oklahoma City. BUT I'M NOT BITTER!
A new study claims that kinky sex can make you more creative, spank you very much.
A study says loneliness may be an early sign of Alzheimer's Disease. I wish I had someone to tell that to...
Actor Wilmer Valderama, who came to the U.S. from Venezuela, says that immigrants are a gift to the country. Or, as Donald Trump calls them, potential wives.
A special shout out to all the single malt scotches that helped me through my ballot.
5-million fans turned out as they celebrated the Chicago Cubs first World Series championship in 108 years. But if you think about it, that averages out to only 46,297 fans a year.
As one Chicago Cubs fan told me: "It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this!"
How to retire comfortably: stop working and start wearing sweat pants all the time.
Last Friday was "Take Your Parents To Work Day." We're going to assume you remembered to take them home.
Just remember, no matter the outcome of the election on Tuesday, it starts all over again on Wednesday.
Dez Bryant claims he owns 'between 3,000 and 3,500' pairs of Jordans, officially making him the Imelda Marcos of football.
I wonder if all the people in the electoral college have paid off their student loans?
According to a new poll, 82% of Americans called this presidential campaign "disgusting." I find it amazing that 18% of Americans have that much tolerance.
Now that Election Day is behind us, who's going to step in on Facebook and tell me how I should be thinking?
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and coach Bill Belichick both backed Donald Trump. It appears that the number of people who actually supported Trump was under-inflated.
Broadcast brother Gregg Hersholt has a good observation on this past election: "It was the year America developed Electile Dysfunction."
There were those describing the election returns last night as the season finale for "America."
The 45th President of the United States is Donald Trump. A big victory for the Wall Builders Union.
According to a study out of France, dangerous driving runs in families. The reason they run is because Aunt Collette is behind the wheel and coming this way!
And the campaign for the 2020 presidential race begins in 3-2-1...
Seen on Facebook: I guess my liver is in for a tough four years!
Stephen Colbert, on Election Night: "It feels like we're trying to avoid the apocalypse, and half the country is voting for the asteroid."
Political Polsters have now passed Weather Forecasters as the job with the least required accuracy.
Social activist and sometimes football player Colin Kaepernick refused to vote in the last election. Dude, if you want change, you need to vote. You could have always voted on one knee.
Starbucks brought back their traditional holiday coffee cups. Oh, c’mon, let’s change them and Make America Gripe Again!
Brad Pitt has been cleared of any child abuse charges, but they are still thinking about a penalty for making “Fury.”
President Obama and President-Elect Donald Trump met for the first time at the White House yesterday. So did their food-tasters.
You'll need this list again in four years:
TOP FIVE THINGS YOU'LL NEED TO GET THROUGH ELECTION NIGHT
- A corkscrew
- A crying towel
- Apathy
- Tums
- Confidence in the American political system
TOP FIVE SIGNS THIS IS YOUR LAST DAY AT WORK
- The sticky note on your desk that says, "Dibs on the desk"
- Amazon just delivered some packing boxes
- Your boss just asked to meet you in a non-threatening neutral location
- One HR person says to the other while pointing at you, "That's the one"
- Your supervisor suggested parking today in one of those 30-minutes or less spots
Laugh a little, would ya?
