They say once you go WACK, you never go back

Oscar Mayer is looking for drivers for their famous Wienermobiles

• Hot dog!
• You got to love a job where you get to sit around on your bun all day.
• It's a job you could relish.
• You may be frank.

President Trump and Russia's leader Putin met face to face for the first time Friday at the G20 conference. They talked about many topics, including what each planned to buy on Amazon Prime Day.

Americans will spend $100-billion on summer vacations this year. That figures out to $1 for every, "Are we there yet?"

Robert Downey, Jr. says he will give up the "Iron Man" gig if it becomes embarrassing. So far, when depositing his paycheck, he has yet to be embarrassed.

A 6'9" Russian woman is claiming to be the tallest model in the world. When not modeling, it's said she specializes in political repairs -- yes, she fixes elections.

A Delta flight attendant hit an unruly passenger over the head with a wine bottle. Or as they call that on United, "first class."

NBA star Taj Gibson was arrested in New York City for driving with an expired license. Talk about an error in judgment -- who would ever think to actually drive in New York City?

A study says the average Baby Boomer has less than half the money saved they will need to retire. The good news -- each will receive a participation trophy for trying.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith's son Jaydon celebrated his 19th birthday over the weekend. Apparently, someone gave him a Facebook virus for his big day.

President Trump's first meeting with Queen Elizabeth has been pushed off until next year. My guess is that's as much as she could get away with at the time.

Time to get out and hit those After Prime Day Sales!

Tuesday was 7-11's 90th birthday! However, technically speaking, those hot dogs on the grill were only 87.

Heard this one the other day: You know what the difference is between lutefisk and a bowling ball? In a pinch, you can eat the bowling ball.

The credit scores of Americans has reached an all-time high. Then again, Tuesday was Prime Day, so that may be no longer true.

Studies say that drinking coffee is linked to a decrease in the risk of death. OK, can we please stop doing studies now while we're ahead?

Coffee has been linked to a decrease in the risk of death. However, taking cuts in the line at Starbucks has an opposite effect.

You know, mornings would be my most productive part of the day if I wasn't asleep.

A Canadian man was struck by lightning while giving his daughter’s wedding speech.  Wow, how much was he covering up?
 
A former NASA engineer has built the world’s largest super soaker that can shoot water at 272 mph. So now can we get back to working on that cancer thing?
 
A new study says that coffee may reduce your risk of death. I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty much how I drink it every morning.

TOP FIVE SIGNS YOUR MASSAGE THERAPIST IS BRAND NEW AT THIS

1. Opens with, "So do you want to start by rubbing my shoulders?"
2. We need a safe word for a massage?
3. What are you going to do with that hammer?
4. The massage oil -- is that Quaker State?
5. What's that sandpaper doing in here?

TOP FIVE THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T NEED TO BUY ON AMAZON PRIME DAY

1. Anything
2. A special edition "I survived Prime Day 2017" commemorative t-shirt
3. Amazon gift cards made out to you
4. Software that posts political content on your Facebook page
5. A robot that shops for you

Laugh a little, would ya?