PS--Don't forget about our friend, Our 1,126th Edition
September 15th, 2017
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From Facebook: Fires, floods, earthquakes, hurricanes -- OK, who's playing Jumanji?
I keep hearing the phrase, "Well, you know, it all started with the eclipse."
What a late-summer collection of catastrophes -- earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, fires, the Seattle Mariners...
A survey says people over age 60 are the most content. I'd explain why, but I don't want to harsh my bliss.
Dennis Rodman has offered to straighten things out between Trump and Kim Jong-Un. Remember back in the day when you'd say something like that and they would lock you up?
Hillary Clinton has a new book about last year's election called, "What Happened," which is much better than the original title, "Mom! Bernie Cost Me The Election!"
Thanks to Equifax, we're all Equi-screwed!
An Alabama man is carrying on a legal fight to marry his computer. You know, they say once you go Mac...
Hillary Clinton says she coped with her loss in the 2016 election with prayer, yoga and Chardonnay. Wow, Hillary and I have something in common, except for the prayer and yoga part.
Hillary Clinton says that if it were not for James Comey, Russia, Wikileaks, Facebook, fake news, voter ID laws, or America's sexism and misogyny, she would currently be president of the United States. I think she just rested her own case.
In other words, Hillary is putting the blame straight on the fact she didn't have enough excuses.
Our National Debt has now topped $20-trillion. You know, a trillion here and a trillion there and after a while, that could add up!
My friend Carmin told me about a great word that describes the feeling when someone volunteers you for something and you really can't say no. You were "Volun-told!"
The Los Angeles Lakers are going to retire Kobe Bryant's number. No one will ever pass a basketball wearing that number again. Wait a minute, let me rephrase that...
Target says they're going to hire 100,000 temporary workers for the upcoming holiday season. Great news for those of you who were hoping to work on Thanksgiving.
You've got to give Americans a lot of credit. Otherwise, why would Equifax being hacked matter?
At times I think back to what it would have been like to be a caveman and wonder, how did they ever go to the bathroom without phones?
One day, I hope to meet my Doppelgänger so I can look him in the eye and say to him, "You handsome devil!"
I would just like to thank all the coffee that made the rest of today possible.
The Los Angeles Lakers are going to retire the number worn by Kobe Bryant. They said they just couldn’t pass up honoring the man who couldn’t pass.
California is banning the delivery of marijuana by drones. And they had the name, “Amabong” all ready to go….
A study says people can cut the risk of early death by getting up from sitting down every 30 minutes…unless you’re getting up to get another beer. Then it’s a wash.
I keep telling my boss, “Look, if you want me to dream up big ideas, I need to sleep!”
You think about it: we’ve all been given a lifetime supply of time.
61% of Americans say that it’s time for Hillary Clinton to retire. That’s up from the 46% that said so last November.
Identical twins in Massachusetts gave birth at the same hospital hours apart. Hospital staff reported an incredible case of déjà vu.
TOP FIVE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MONDAY
- It reminds me that I didn't win the lotto... again...
- It's the day that reminds me I shouldn't drink that much on Sunday
- It's the day after Sunday, and that's confusing
- It also sounds like "fun day," which it is not
- It sounds too much like "mundane"
TOP FIVE NEW TV SHOWS THAT DON'T LOOK VERY PROMISING
- NCIS: CSI
- The OK Wife
- 2 Broke Laptops
- The Small Bang Theory
Laugh a little, would ya?