Brown University will allow students to self-identify as a person of color. What can Brown do for you?
I come from the era where the high-tech gift on everybody's Christmas Wish List was an Etch-a-Sketch.
It's a pretty safe bet that the one holiday decoration most likely to be missing from the office this year -- mistletoe!
Wow -- first the Christmas party kissing booth and now this! Thank God we've still got the copy machine.
Scientists are excited about the find of 215 pterosaur eggs, some with perfectly preserved embryos inside. Did anyone else see Jurassic Park?
Yes, there has been some butt grabbing and shoulder-massaging where I work. But what's important to know is that I'm self-employed.
A new study claims that robots are going to take over for a third of American workers. I'm just hoping it's not my middle third. Crap, did I think that out loud?
Remember the two most important words of this holiday season: Bumbles Bounce.
Once again, I was the town crier for a Santa Claus arrival on Saturday. My face wasn't always familiar, but my hand rang a bell.
Lamborghini is coming out with their own SUV, so that no child ever has to be late to soccer practice again!
A study says warm climates make people more open and agreeable. I disagree, and I don't want to talk about it.
Dictionary.com has named "complicit" as the Word of the Year. The word said it couldn't have done it without the secret support of others.
Here's how I justify paying $50 for a Christmas tree. If I were to grow it on my own, it would take at least 7 years of constant attention, pruning and watering. Instead, I'm basically paying a guy to farm one for me for just $7 and change a year. Such a deal!
An unidentified man was arrested for possession of weapons at the LA Airport on Sunday, who was yelling, "My uncle is Samuel L. Jackson!" What's in YOUR wallet?
Well, we've made it to Tuesday and so far, no new sexual scandals to report. Of course, the day isn't over.
Marijuana prices are plunging in Colorado and experts say that could be bad news. Unfortunately, no one cares why.
Meanwhile, the co-author of Donald Trump's book, "The Art of the Deal," says that according to two secret sources, White House staffers are starting to express concern over the president's mental health. You gotta wonder, with being that close to what's going on, what took them so long?
Toys R Us is getting ready to close 25% of their stores in the U.K.. Which means a lot of Toys R Us kids there will now have to grow up.
President Trump said that "we need Roy Moore to win in Alabama." Apparently it's part of his new, "Lets make Alabama safer for kids" campaign.
Mom used to always say, "Never lie to the F.B.I." Huh. I wonder what mom wasn't telling me?
Discovery has bought the majority of Oprah's OWN network. Maybe now we can finally discover what the deal is with her and Stedman.
Robert Mueller says he's making progress with his White House investigation. Then again, so far, the biggest revelation has been that Vladimir Putin is Donald Trump's Secret Santa.
Residents of the village of Ringaskiddy in Ireland claim the fumes from the local Pfizer factory -- which has long produced Viagra -- are arousing their menfolk. Pfizer has dismissed the claims and says no hard feelings.
They say Starbucks is opening a new store in China every 15 hours. And, just like in the U.S., they're all going right across the street.
Opening soon: The Starbucks Reserve Roastery Shanghai, the largest store in their chain. Should be a popular spot among factory workers on their way to daycare.
Amazon Prime Video has finally come to Apple TV. Because you obviously weren't watching enough TV.
The first text message was sent out 25 years ago, saying "Merry Christmas." Not surprising, the person receiving the message was sitting behind someone in a movie theater.
Arizona is considering a bill to outlaw wearing a mask to a public event. That's going to make it very difficult for Cardinals fan to protect their identify when going to a game.
I'm just now realizing that everybody who knew about all those things back in school on my permanent record are either dead or retired. I'm free!
Russia’s President Vladimir Putin has announced that he’s going to run for another term next year. Russia is expected to announce he’s won next week.
A study says Washington, D.C. has the highest percentage of heavy drinkers. I had assumed they weren’t doing all this sober.
A company is making a family-sized mattress for families that like to co-sleep. Or single people on the All-Pizza Diet.
A former "Jeopardy!" winner has been charged with illegally accessing co-workers' email accounts at a small Michigan college.
I’m sorry. I meant, “Who is Stephanie Jass?”
Good people always land on their feet. Then again, so do cats.
Russia’s President Vladimir Putin has announced that he’s going to run for another term next year. Russia is expected to announce he’s won next week.
A study says Washington, D.C. has the highest percentage of heavy drinkers. I had assumed they weren’t doing all this sober.
A company is making a family-sized mattress for families that like to co-sleep. Or single people on the All-Pizza Diet.
A former "Jeopardy!" winner has been charged with illegally accessing co-workers' email accounts at a small Michigan college.
I’m sorry. I meant, “Who is Stephanie Jass?”
Good people always land on their feet. Then again, so do cats.
TOP FIVE SIGNS THAT'S PROBABLY NOT THE BEST MALL SANTA YOU COULD DO
- Santa's ankle tracking bracelet should be a big clue
- Well, the one tooth he has is fairly white
- He'll pose with your kid, but they use identify protection software on Santa's face
- The sled he's posing in was stolen from another mall
- Well, there's that "I eat reindeer" tattoo on Santa's arm
TOP FIVE LEAST POPULAR CHRISTMAS MOVIES
- "Fruitcake Eggnog: Christmas Spy"
- "Holiday Insane"
- "A Christmas Pete Carroll"
- "Coincidence on 34th Street"
- "Christmas Working Vacation"
Laugh a little, would ya?
