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THIS WEEK'S WACK
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PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian. A new cartoon every week!
Our 1,162nd Edition
June 1st, 2018
If this isn't the Ambien talking, I don't know what is!
A study says in 27 years, almost a quarter of the world’s population will be obese. I accept your challenge.
A study says anxiety can make people better at their jobs. What if you’re a calmness coach?
Cannabis users want Hollywood to abandon pot stereotypes. For the record, they’ve asked three times today.
Tens of thousands of Las Vegas casino workers have voted to authorize a strike next month. What happens in Vegas is soon about to stop happening in Vegas.
Seen this on Facebook a couple of times: Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?
President Trump announced his planned summit has been canceled due to “tremendous anger and open hostility.” I hadn’t heard he was going to have a summit with the Democrats.
Fruit Loops cereal has added a new flavor, Wild Berry. I can't help but think the word “esque” or “ish” should be added to that.
The NBA Championship Series will feature the Golden State Warriors against the Cleveland Cavaliers AGAIN. This makes the 4th year in a row. A suggestion: Let’s call them the Déjà vu Games. Or the “5-on-1” tournament.
Will Power won this year’s Indy 500, barely defeating D. Termined and Ree Lentless.
I’m not a perfect person. I’ve made mistakes along the way, some of them highly regrettable. For that, I’d just like you all to know—I blame the Ambien.
Sounds like Southwest Airlines employees should have crashed that Starbucks sensitivity training the other day.
Mussels off the coast of Seattle have tested positive for opioids. That’s not surprising. After all, mussels are shellfish.
Comedian Rick Taylor has a funny concept: "Survivor--Ambien Edition"
Actress Brigitte Nielsen—Sylvester Stallone’s ex—is pregnant at age 54. How could raising a teenager in your 60s ever seem like a great idea?
Albert Brooks tweeted this: “Not to stick up for a pharmaceutical company but I took Ambien last night and still thought what Roseanne did was hurtful and stupid. Then I ate a whole turkey.”
Researchers say people wearing glasses are more intelligent. Now, if only I could remember where I left my readers…
“NCIS” star Mark Harmon says he avoids social media in order to maintain a private life. So, one question: Who’s Mark Harmon?
And I don't usually include these, but here's this week's edition of the City Cinema Theater bit I do each week for Radio Online. I've been doing one of these every week for over a decade and this is episode number 700!
TOP FIVE LABELS OF WINES TO AVOID
- Chateau Rockgut
- Domaine Tomaine
- Wino Chardonnay
- Bordeaux Wine Crazy
- Sucky Cellars
TOP FIVE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT A 4-DAY WORK WEEK
- It gives me enough of a taste, that we should try a 3-day work week
- It further proves I can do five days worth of work in four days
- Frankly, it's the way I should be accustomed to working
- By the time I remember that Tuesday is not Monday, it's Wednesday!
- Only four days of traffic
Laugh a little, would ya?
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