CDC data says chicken is the food most likely to make people sick. A Chick-fil-A cow is saying to ignore that study.
A guy in New York decided he was going to swim in the Hudson River every week to prove that it's clean. He was 37.
From Facebook: "Every time my phone autocorrects to "ducking" I feel more and more like it really doesn't know me."
Another one: I'm on an elevator when a guy walks in. It's just the two of us and he says, "I love you." Not to be rude, I turned and replied, "I love you, too." It was then that he pointed to his Bluetooth.
An ice cream shop in Scotland has introduced Mayonnaise ice cream. Some people actually like it. Others have declared it an act of war.
Two things--remember to vote and remember not to tell me how to vote on Facebook. And we're good.
A report says sex robots in Japan "beat living competition" and could wipe out the Japanese by 3546. Hope I don't live long enough to see that.
Wells Fargo is being accused of foreclosing on 400 people in California who may have had a chance to keep their homes. It seems to me if Wells Fargo didn't have bad publicity, it wouldn't have any publicity at all.
Johnny Manziel threw four interceptions in his first start in the CFL. However, keep in mind-technically speaking, they were completions.
Jameis Winston has lost his endorsement deal with Nike. He received a very short letter from the company that said, "We'll have somebody else do it."
Sir Patrick Stewart returns as Captain Jean-Luc Picard for a new "Star Trek" series for CBS ALL ACCESS. By the way, CBS ALL ACCESS is a subscription video channel, not Les Moonves's company policy.
Saw this on Reddit: After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,"I think I'm going to call it a day."
Jennifer Garner and her daughter had to be rescued in Sweden after getting lost while kayaking. Apparently, "What's in her wallet?" did not include a GPS system.
Lady Gaga will begin her Las Vegas residency in December, at the Park Hotel. Unlike that time you did a residency in Las Vegas when you moved into your car after losing the rent money. Different thing.
Shaun Weiss, best known for his role in "The Mighty Ducks" was arrested Saturday in California on public intoxication charges. At least it proved his agent wrong.
I think someone should be selling shirts that say, "Quit putting slogans on clothing again."
I saw new hats on Facebook being offered: “Make Orwell Fiction Again.”
I don’t want to sound like a complainer, but the House Margarita is never even close to the size of an actual house.
A study says that 25% of online daters pursue users who are “out of their league.” I remember back in my internet dating days, three times I was sent down to the minors. Well, not the MINORS. You know what I meant.
A report says Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin were seen crying on a bike ride in New York City. Probably because Hailey got tired of that noise the playing card was making in the spokes.
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'VE OVERCOOKED THE STEAKS
- A Mayan priest comes up and thanks you for the burnt sacrifice
- There was so much pope, people thought a new pope was elected
- Given the choice, you ate the soles of your shoes instead
- Hold them up at night and you can't even see them
- Well, that explains the fire department
TOP FIVE THINGS I'VE BEEN MEANING TO GET TO THIS SUMMER, BUT STILL HAVEN'T
- Pick up the kids at school
- Flip the calendar over from June
- Paint the house... after I buy the paint... after I pick the color... after I buy a house
- Tell my neighbor what I really think of him
- Mow the lawn
