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Our 1,177th Edition
September 14th, 2018

Humor therapy with a very low deductible

A study says brain power varies through the year, peaking in the autumn. Just so you know, this is as smart as you get. Thought you'd want to know...

A study says "friending" God can restore purpose in life for the lonely or anti-social. To be honest, I didn't know God was on Facebook.

A study says the best sport to play for longevity is tennis. Although, it should be noted that most of those people die when attempting to jump over the net in their 90s.

The world's oldest cheese has been discovered-an amazing 7,200 years old. It's pull date ended in B.C.

Some upscale hotels are now offering cannabis-infused room service items to maximize relaxation for guests... and boost sales of their $40 microwave mini-pizzas.

Seen on Facebook: "I just returned a pair of Nikes to the store. I complained that they hurt my feet every time I stand for the National Anthem."

From radio bro Skip Tucker: I would've never vaccinated my kids. It would've been unnatural, dangerous, pointless, expensive, reckless, and harmful. Instead, I took my kids to the doctor so he could vaccinate them instead.

Stormy Daniels says she "may never have a normal life again." I've been reviewing her movie career. Not a whole lot of normal there to begin with.

The Baltimore Orioles hit 100 losses faster than any team since 2003. In Baltimore, during the 7th inning stretch, the crowd all sings, "Get me out of this ballgame."

Anthropologists in Austria discovered a kill pit where humans slaughtered mammoths. They were able to identify it by the presence of all the ancient protest signs from NETA-Neanderthals for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Jaguar is building an SUV that can go 200 mph. Their slogan: "Never be late for soccer practice again."

A letter from Prince Phillip-the Queen's Husband-written to Diana, back at the time when she was getting divorced from Prince Charles, includes him saying, "I cannot imagine anyone in their right mind leaving you for Camilla." That would make for a very awkward Thanksgiving dinner, if they celebrated Thanksgiving.

There's now a Fortnite Monopoly, for those times when you want to quit playing a video game and switch to a board game.

It was announced that the most common vegetable that toddlers eat is French fries. Unless you consider potatoes "fruit"... then it's the most common fruit.

"Jeopardy!" has kicked off its 35th season with a surprise-Alex Trebek has a beard! I'm sorry. That should have been, "What is Alex Trebek's beard?"

North Korea is celebrating their 70th anniversary. Don't worry, I didn't send a card, either.

The new Italian government will introduce a ban on Sunday shopping to promote more family time. Unless you combine that with a blackout of football games, it wouldn't work here.

The first red heifer born in 2,000 years in Israel has fulfilled a Biblical prophecy for the "end of days." On the bright side, you'd no longer have to worry about the balance on your VISA.

A study says one in five college students are stressed out. Only 1 in 5? Obviously, it's not finals week.

Some astronomers are arguing that Pluto should be restored to status as a planet again. These are obviously astronomers with absolutely way too much time on their hands.

A Connecticut woman was injured during a power outage when she thought she was lighting a candle... but it turned out to be a stick of dynamite. I'm putting the blame on watching too many Warner Brothers cartoons.

Bristol, England, is attempting to be the first city in Britain to completely quit smoking. You may want to wait a couple of months before stopping by to congratulate them.
A report says The U.S. is moving closer to becoming a cashless society. Heck, my wallet has been cashless for years, as for my bank account.
A man was arrested in Saudi Arabia for having breakfast with a woman. Who knew their IHOP’s were so strict?
Prince William has launched a website to improve mental health in the workplace. This from a guy who gave up Diana for Camilla.
A man in New York this week bought a $10 million winning lottery ticket while at a convenience store to buy treats for his dog. He’s asking that you not bring it up in front of his dog.
Dating site OKCupid is allowing users to pick their own pronouns. Nothing could be sexier than finding out that person you’re interested in refers to themselves as a shim.

  1. Allergic to Winning
  2. Slower than Slower than Molasses
  3. I wouldn't bet on him
  4. Hope He Makes It
  5. Dead Last


  1. Put up a giant reader board on your house that says, "Welcome Zeltron!"
  2. Place a large diaper on your car
  3. Perform a religious ritual every time you check for mail
  4. Mow your lawn going backwards
  5. Wear a wedding dress when you barbecue
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
PSPS--Stalk me on Twitter for daily Wacks!

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