Our 1,187th Edition
A mini-edition for our mini-work week. Happy Turkey Day!!!!
November 21, 2018
Remember, the bird is the word
Stan Lee was working on a new character "Dirt Man" at the time of his death. A super hero unless it rained. Then his name was Mud.
Spotify has created a playlist of the best songs to play while giving CPR. They call it the Larry King channel. (by the way, Larry turned 85 Monday)
Earlham College in Indiana has suspended its football season after 53 straight losses. Things were so bad, the cheerleaders filed for unemployment.
From Facebook: Every Thanksgiving, my old maternity pants become my turkey pants.
President Trump says that his Russia probe questions were easy to answer. Who knew they were multiple choice?
Scientists are saying that 536 A.D. was the worst year in history to be alive. The study obviously didn't include Oakland Raiders fans.
The northeastern U.S. is expecting record cold temperatures for a Thanksgiving. It's so cold this year, some turkeys are volunteering.
I'm a big believer in making mandatory company meetings optional.
They say the average person second guesses himself ten times a day. Or, maybe it was 11?
New research says that frankincense may actually be helpful in treating arthritis. Now all I need is some wise guy to bring me some.
A hunter in Kentucky last week bagged a buck…with two heads. One of the heads was already dead. Is there some point where you’re thinking, “MMMM, yummy!”
In Florida, two police officers had just escorted Santa and Mrs. Claus to the mall to begin taking pictures with kids. While heading back to their vehicle, they saw suspicious activity at a car and it turns out they busted a 4-person shoplifting ring. The four were immediately put on the naughty list.
Conan O’Brien tweeted it one year: “Finally, a Thanksgiving without a drunken uncle. Just me, my nieces and nephews, and my bottle of Jack Daniels.”
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE ORDERING WAY TOO MUCH STUFF FROM AMAZON
- Your home was seriously considered for their new Second Headquarters
- Constant Facebook friend requests from Jeff Bezos
- Porch thief threw his back out trying to carry away all your stuff
- Daily checks from your credit card company, wondering if your card was stolen
- Your cardboard recycler just bought a Ferrari
TOP FIVE JOKES YOU HOPE UNCLE FRANK WON'T SAY AGAIN THIS YEAR AT THANKSGIVING DINNER
- When he passes the gravy, he asks, "One lump or two?"
- There's his kicking off the holiday season tradition of pulling his finger
- He looks over at Aunt Mary and always says, "Hey, nice yams!"
- Grabs both drumsticks and asks, "Wanna hear a drum solo?"
- "I love turkey. Yes, I'm a big tryptofan."
Laugh a little, would ya?