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Our 1,231st Edition
October 18th, 2019

Remember, it's the little things that make big things seem larger

According to a new survey, 1 in every 5 Americans believe they have an anxiety disorder. Upon hearing this, it should go to 2 out of 5.

A couple of San Diego Padres pitchers were arrested after trying to break into an Arizona home by crawling through the dog door. Who says they aren't busy in the post-season?

Alexander Edwards and Amber Rose have announced the birth of their son, who they named Slash Electric Alexander Edwards. It's going to be a long childhood.

A Florida man is being accused of forcing a small alligator to drink beer... even after it insisted it was more of a wine gator.

A study says climate change could cut production of Vermont maple syrup. IHOP not.

They say that it was on this date in 24,000 B.C. that a man named Grog discovered fire. But that's ancient history.

In Vienna, a Kenya runner--Eliud Kipchoge--became the first person to run an entire marathon in less than two hours. In case you're wondering, he was able to catch his bus.

Just in time for Christmas, the Portovino Wine Purse that works as a purse, but that can hold up to 2 bottles of wine in its pouch. I'm getting my wife the keg purse. A lot heavier than the wine purse, but about as heavy as the one she carries around now.

Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan are considering a move to Canada because of their treatment by the tabloids. Well, that, and an earlier Thanksgiving.

A new study claims that owning a dog reduces your odds of dying early by 24%. Geeze, if I get four dogs, I could live forever!

The first rule of No Rules Club is that there are no rules.

I don't care if you're black, white, Hispanic, tall, short, gay, lesbian, rich or poor. Why? Because I don't remember why I brought this up. So I don't care.

Today is "National Face Your Fears Day" and I'd just like to welcome all of our new listeners celebrating the day.

The new Ford F450 Super Duty Crew Cab weighs in at more than four tons. It's from Ford's new "gas mileage, smas smileage" line.

A study says Moon ice could be a billion years old. We're still not sure about Moon pies.

California is pushing back the start times for middle and high school students. Next up is adding the word, "dude" to the Pledge of Allegiance.

From Facebook:

  • I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
  • I hate when I lose things at work, like my coffee cup, my pen or my will to live.

A man walked out of a San Francisco art gallery on Tuesday with a $20,000 Salvador Dali painting. It was surreal. And so was the painting.

With my luck, if I became a zombie, I'd have a people allergy.

Dutch police found a family of 7 living in a farmhouse basement for the past 9 years, waiting for the world to end. When asked what it was like, one of the families said it was fairly normal. It's not like as if Donald Trump was elected president of the United States or anything.

Boeing and Porsche are teaming up to create a flying car. Their hope is that, within just a couple of years, they can roll out a flying car you could never afford.

Seattle: where October is always baseball-free!

From my buddy, Skip Tucker: bologna is just hot dogs for people who like pancakes.

RuPaul is asking fans not to ask him to pose for selfies. Deal!
The Patriots have suspended tight end Michael Bennett for a week for conduct detrimental to the team. Apparently, he was acting “too Seahawkian.”
Pete Rose feels his lifetime ban from baseball has probably cost him around $100 Million. In fact, he’s so sure, he’d bet on it.
Portland, Oregon was named as the city with the worst drivers in the U.S.. Not surprising, a city representative on their way to pick up the award got into an accident.
The Paris Zoo is displaying a slime mold that is neither a plant, an animal or a fungus. It can heal itself if cut in two and has 720 different sexes…which explains why it spends its entire life arguing with itself over which restroom to use.
I’ve got this year’s Halloween costume all figured out. Wait. I thought you said “Fart Night”….
The world’s first self-navigating ship is going to attempt a journey across the Atlantic. We’ll know something went terribly wrong if it ends up in Nebraska.


  1. If you could be a Trump, which one would you be?
  2. Should Hillary run again?
  3. Did the Russians interfere in the last election? Nyet or da?
  4. What's the idea with putting ketchup on your eggs?
  5. Would you consider Joker as your running mate?


  1. Sunday services constantly canceled to catch big football game
  2. During a service, they pass the plate 7 times
  3. Only commandment posted is, "Thou shalt not... oh, what the heck! Go ahead!"
  4. First one you've ever attended that has a Casino Night
  5. Well, there's the sacrament of "Empty Thy Wallets"


  1. Lint-zilla
  2. Pumpkin Butt
  3. The Headless Vampire
  4. Casper the Gluten-Free Ghost
  5. Helicopter Mummy
Laugh a little, would ya?
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
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