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THIS WEEK'S WACK
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Our 1,289th Edition
Friday, December 11th, 2020

Including a couple of holiday gifts

Last week's Julebord I told you about was a huge hit. You can watch all of it, or just parts, on the NACC Seattle YouTube channel, right here.

AND

This year's Christmas CD is ready for your ears! Just click here to enjoy 68-minutes of holiday cheer.
I call it "Ho Ho Brother 20!"

And now, on with the WACKS!

The first one that says, "Two weeks from today" gets it.

In Germany, a woman who died left her fortune to her neighbors-all 7.5-million! I'm reading this loudly to plant the seeds with my neighbors.

Thanks to the Netflix series, The Queen's Gambit, chess sets are among the most wanted Christmas gifts bought. The second most requested gift? A pardon.

They're calling Sunday's win for the New York Giants over the Seattle Seahawks the "Upset of the Season." Being a Hawks fan, upset is the perfect word.

I'm realizing I'm a much better team player by myself.

For the record, Charles Shaw was not actually a shah. Just saying.

The N.B.A. has released some new protocols for their players, like not being allowed be in bars or restaurants. However, they'll still be allowed to travel.

It's true. Mario Lopez is starring as Colonel Sanders in a Lifetime romance mini-movie called, "A Recipe for Seduction." Available in regular and extra schlocky.

Just a quick reminder that just because you see it on the Internet doesn't make it true. It' s a shame I have to keep saying that out loud.

They say there's only one more hurdle before they can approve the coronavirus vaccine in this country. One question-why are they running hurdles?

Taylor Swift dropped a surprise album this week. What some people won’t do to get out of buying Christmas presents.

They say that in Georgia, election misinformation is everywhere. This according to Clyde, the Mountain Man Bigfoot.
 
I realize now why I’m so big on exercising my vote every election. Truthfully, it’s the only exercise I get all year.
 
You know you’re in Georgia on New Years’ Eve when they countdown to midnight and then they spend the first half-hour of the New Year recounting the minutes.
 
From Facebook:

  • A shout out to whoever invented the word, "plethora." That means a lot.
  • One minute you are young and wild and the next, you're into air fryers.
  • I wish I could afford to be as weird as I want to be.
  • My high school was so small, we had drivers ed and sex education in the same car!
  • Want to hear my Van Gogh joke? OK, ear goes.
  • I have only two speeds of email reply: 27 seconds or three weeks.
  • It's so cute when a recipe calls for ¼ cup of cheese. Bless their hearts.
  • Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I'm pretty sure it has rabies.
  • Two sheep, one says, “Look. Every time I say Bah, you don’ have to say Humbug.”
  • If you see someone crying, ask if it’s because of their haircut.
  • Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.
  • Just rolled over for a cuddle. Forgot I’m single. Rolled off the bed.
  • Being an adult means eating the crust of a sandwich not because you like it, but because you paid for it.
  • Dear Family, since we cannot gather at home this year for Christmas, we’ll meet at Wal-Mart, aisle 31 at 3pm.

TOP FIVE THINGS THE REINDEER SAY BEHIND SANTA'S BACK

  1. "Remember, on Christmas Eve, eat nothing but beans."
  2. "Oh, yeah, HE goes around the world in one night."
  3. "Seriously, what's Rudolph got on him?"
  4. "Why does he keep saying ‘on' before each of our names?"
  5. "Someone's getting harder to pull."

TOP FIVE FLAVORS OF CANDY CANES WE HOPE THEY NEVER MAKE

  1. Spam
  2. Metamucil
  3. Gingerbread Eggnog
  4. Jalapeno Chili
  5. Candy Corn
TOP FIVE HOLIDAY MOVIES TO AVOID
  1. "National Lampoon's Christmas Lactation"
  2. "Elf Flying a Stealth"
  3. "A Christmas Carl"
  4. "I'll be Home... Because I Can't Go Anywhere!"
  5. "It's a Wonderful Lawn Mower"

TOP FIVE WORST HALLMARK HOLIDAY MOVIES EVER MADE

  1. The Fungus and the Mistletoe
  2. A Bow on the Cranberry Angel of Holly
  3. Jingle Bell Rebound
  4. Christmas with the Smooky Wookies
  5. The Christmas Bathtub Ring
Laugh a little, would ya?

 
 
PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
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