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Our 1,296th Edition
Friday, February 5th, 2021

Happy Cinco de Februario!

It seems to be the trend these days, so you're not just listening to CALL LETTERS. You're listening to CALL LETTERS Plus!

The days of skinny jeans may soon be over. Levi's is going to roll out a loose, more ‘generous'-fitting, on-the-ragged-edge-of baggy jean later on this year. Apparently, my fashion was just ahead of its time.

After 130 years, production on Olympia beer is being paused. They hope it'll come back. I suspect sabotage by those Artesians.

Champagne sales were down 18% in 2020. Now you can look at it as, "Well, we didn't have much to celebrate." I choose to think of it as, "Awesome. A champagne glut!"

M-and-M's must have heard my belt fits again. Just in time for Valentine's Day, White Chocolate Cheesecake M-and-M's. I'm going outside right now and hoisting up a white flag.

The conspiracy against me continues. Now Hershey's has come out with kisses that are not chocolate, but rather white Birthday Cake flavor, with sprinkles.

Today is "Change your password Day" and with any luck, you'll change it to something you'll still remember tomorrow.

They say that people are getting gray hair four years earlier than people did 40 years ago. Except for those who went bald, of course.

The Weeknd's halftime show during the Super Bowl on February 7 will be 24 minutes, roughly 10 minutes longer than recent big-game halftime concerts. No, I don't know why the NFL is mad at us.

Yeah, I'm old enough to remember back when "hot blooded" meant (roll your tongue) and these days, it means you need to adjust your meds.

In some areas of the country, the Groundhog is going to have to shovel his way out.

Out west, he may need water wings.

I've already got a couple of bets going for this Sunday. Most of my money is on the Golden Retriever in the Puppy Bowl.

The Better Business Bureau is warning people NOT to post their vaccine cards on social media. They'd also like to remind those who already have not to breathe in water.

Best snow-shoveling tip: hire the neighbor kids.

In Pennsylvania, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow yesterday, which means six more weeks of winter. Technically speaking, spring doesn't officially arrive for six weeks on the calendar, so that's actually a pretty safe bet.

Kylie Jenner's BFF Harry Hudson is dating Steve Job's daughter, Eve. Anyone else surprised that her name didn't start with an ‘i'? Or, that it wasn't iEve?

A phrase I've been hearing a lot lately: people apologizing for having a "God complex." Just thought I'd mention it for those who don't believe in me.

Duncan Hines has come out with single-serving microwavable cakes, in flavors like Oreo and Chips Ahoy. OK, now that we've figured that one out, can we get back to working on cancer?

In Florida, Nicholas the Dolphin has predicted the Chiefs will win the Super Bowl on Sunday. He wanted to change his guess, but he was afraid if he did that, people would call him a Flipper.

The toilet seat from Hitler's bathroom is up for auction this week and expected to get upwards of $15,000. Needless to say, that has caused quite a fuhrer.

You're going to be seeing some celebrity hosts for Jeopardy for the next couple of weeks. Among those taking a swing: Savanah Guthrie, Katie Couric, Dr. Oz, Anderson Cooper, Aaron Rogers and Mayim Bialik. For the record, Jake from State Farm didn't make the cut.

A guy described as a ‘far right Weird Al', Mr. Bond, has been arrested. Wait-you're saying that he's a Neo-Nazi but he's also ‘weird'? Seems excessive.

We're reminded that there are a lot of scams out there surrounding the coronavirus vaccine, including people having to pay for it. There is no charge for the vaccine, so it should not cost you anything... except of course, my fee for this reminder.

A customer at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles in Pasadena was asked to leave because he refused to wear a mask. So he left, then came back with a gun and robbed the place-of an order of Chicken and Waffles. Police say he should be considered armed and satisfied.

You know, I remember when Voldemort was ‘he-who-must-not-be-named.'

From Facebook:
  • I'm having a weird day. First I found a hat full of money, then I was chased by a guy with a guitar!
  • Other than "life is short", what other lines do you say out loud before you make bad decisions?
  • Today's Special: Buy one beer for the price of two and receive a second beer FREE!
  • Someone asked me what I do with leftover bacon. I've never heard of that kind of bacon. Is it new?
  • Sometimes I mess with my husband and hide his things. I put his shoes in the shoe closet, his jacket on a hanger and his keys on the key hook.
  • Hey, OCD-ers, you do realize that O doesn't come before C and D, right?
  • Here's a question for the mind-readers out there.
  • Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the phrase, ‘selective participation.'
  • I just cleaned my kitchen floor using my feet and baby wipes and didn't spill my wine. Just in case you're looking for a life coach.
  • I want to grow my own food, but I can't find any bacon seeds.
  • Does bacon make you happier? All I know is that I've never eaten bacon and cried at the same time.
  • Therapist: It seems as though you fall in love too easily. Me: What babe?
  • Join the 2-Day Challenge: No alcohol on February 30th or 31st!
  • I saw my own shadow on Tuesday, which I believe means six more weeks of being a hot mess.
  • Any woman wanting a husband has obviously never had one before.
  • If you don't look back at your younger self and say, "I was sure stupid," you're probably still stupid.
  • I'd like to live one week that isn't a verse from, ‘We didn't start the fire.'
  • ME: Alexa, can you check my bank account balance and let me know which Apple product I can afford to buy? ALEXA: Apple juice.


  1. "Chicago Jaywalkers"
  2. "The Flying None Of Your Business"
  3. "C.S.I.: Fuzzy Possom, Alabama"
  4. "I Dream of Bernie"
  5. "My Mother the Air-Fryer"


  1. The sign "Vaccination Site" has six typo's in it
  2. You're asked, "Which knee would you like it in?"
  3. Before shot, they ask you to sign an organ donor form
  4. Instead of syringes, they're using a dart gun
  5. They administer it while you're going through a car wash


  1. "Qanon-Dairy"
  2. "Anderson Scooper"
  3. "Insurrection Perfection"
  4. "Snoop Dogg Food Flavored"
  5. "So Tiramisu Me!"
Laugh a little, would ya?

PS--Don't forget about our friend, Ima Norwegian.  A new cartoon every week!
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