A pastor in Missouri is on leave after a recent sermon where he told the women in the congregation that they needed to keep up their appearances or their husbands would stray. I don't remember which Bible verse that was... .
So, Oprah chatted with Harry and Meghan last night. Buckingham Palace said it was a royal shame.
On the positive side neither Harry or Meghan made any claims against Governor Cuomo.
A Tom Brady rookie card sold at an auction last week for $1.3-million. That's not only the most valuable football card ever sold, it's also the most hated.
The pope traveled to Iraq over the weekend and met up with the leading Shiite cleric. In a related story, he's fired the head of the Vatican travel agency.
Japan is still planning to hold the Summer Olympics this year. In May, their oldest living citizen, a 118-year-old woman, is going to take a turn carrying the Olympic torch. Her old high school boyfriend thought it was great. All these years later, and she's still carrying the torch.
This coming weekend is the time change weekend, when the days seem longer for two reasons: 1) Later sunsets and 2) The non-stop whining about having to change the clocks again.
It's as if they're actively trying to turn "Spring Break" into "Spring Breakout."
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo says there is "No way I'll resign." Here's hoping he's not a betting man.
Prince Harry said he felt let down by his father. When he heard that, Prince Charles couldn't believe his ears. Everyone close by was quick to respond, "We can't believe them, either."
If nothing else, Harry and Meghan's interview means at least one more season of "The Crown."
California has told Disneyland that they can reopen on April 1st. Apparently, they're going to change their slogan to "The Most Contagious Place on Earth!"
For whatever reason, LeBron James says he won't tell the public if he does or doesn't get vaccinated. I guess the idea of possibly being contagious is just too appealing... .
In light of what Andrew Cuomo is experiencing now, the response to the question, "Do you take requests?" is no longer, "I sure do. Do you?"
Rupert Grint is opening up about making "Harry Potter" and described the experience as "suffocating" at times because he was essentially doing the same thing over the course of 10 years. In a related story, Ron Weasley is changing his last name to "Whiney."
Anyone else getting tired of hearing all the problems people who live in mansions are having?
What do you do when one of your friends is too shy to ask people questions? Asking for a friend.
Oh-oh. The Bidens have sent home their dogs to Delaware after an alleged "biting incident' at the White House. The dogs have already booked an interview with Oprah.
A new study says that 42% of us now consider ourselves germophobes. I'm going to now burn this news story, purely out of precaution.
For those of you keeping score at home, the number of Andrew Cuomo accusers is now up to six. So, enough for a basketball team, with one sub.
An Arizona man is suing Costco after a pharmacist allegedly told his ex-wife that he had canceled his Viagra prescription twice. My guess is, there were no hard feelings.
The Queen says she plans to call Harry and Meghan. If it were me, I'd let it go to voicemail.
Yes, the Queen says she's going to call Harry and Meghan. No word yet on what she's going to call them.
They're saying online that the Warner Brothers cartoon character Pepe LePew is virtually a goner, since his whole routine basically mimicked the current governor of New York.
Remember, we turn the clocks ahead an hour on Saturday night, then wake up Sunday morning and start complaining about it.
From Facebook:
- Take your age and add 5 to it. That's how old you'll be in 5 years.
- Money doesn't buy you happiness unless you spend it on wine.
- No Masks! From the people who brought you No Electricity! & No Running Water!
- The only thing not open in Texas is a science book.
- I choked on a carrot yesterday and all I could think was, "I bet a donut wouldn't have done that to me."
- I couldn't afford one of those DNA tests, so I just announced I won the lottery. I soon found out who all my relatives are.
- My uncle just texted me, asking if I knew what IDK meant. I responded with, "I don't know" and he wrote back, "Nobody does!"
- Instead of cleaning the house, I just turn off the lights.
- I'd give up sarcasm, but then that would leave only interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
- I miss the 90s when bread was good for you and nobody knew what kale was.
- My superpower is picking the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.
- Remember when teachers said, "You won't have a calculator everywhere you go!" Well, we showed them.
- Do what you love and money will follow. So I just ate a pizza, drank wine and took selfies with my dog. Now I wait.
- I've finally reached the Wonder Years: I wonder where I parked the car. I wonder where I left my phone. I wonder where my car keys are. I wonder what day it is... .
- Some guy has spreading rumors all over Facebook that I'm schizophrenic... Well 3 can play at that game!
- Bury me with my old records. It'll be my vinyl resting place.
- My wife just gave me a "Get better soon" card. I'm not sick, she just thinks I could get better.
- Alligators can live up to 100 years, which explains why they will probably see ya later.
- Grandma used to say, "Sometimes you gotta hug people so you know how big to dig the hole in the backyard."
- No matter what you are going through, always try to help people. For example, instead of just telling someone to F@$K off, as them, "How can I help you to F@$K off?"
- A mask is not a political statement. It's an IQ test.
- NEW CO-WORKER: Nice to meet you. ME: Give it time.
- I'm writing a love poem called, "Put the dishes in the dishwasher, but not like that."
- I'm so lucky people can't hear what I'm thinking.
TOP FIVE REVELATIONS IN THAT HARRY AND MEGHAN INTERVIEW
- Prince Charles' nickname for Camilla is "Spanky"
- When Meghan referred to "the firm," she was talking about the mattresses in the palace
- The entire Royal Family has been invited on Family Feud. No response yet.
- William has an annoying habit of referring to Harry as "number two"
- The Queen actually sleeps in a King bed
TOP FIVE THINGS YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN ABOUT MATTEL'S BARBIE
- She doesn't have to buy her friends, but you do.
- Her story says that she is from Wisconsin. Yes, she's a cheese-head!
- Actually once turned down Prince Harry
- Was going to write a tell-all book on Ken, but everyone knows.
- Full name is actually Barbara Millicent Roberts. That's BMR. Surprising her nickname wasn't ‘Beamer.'
TOP FIVE SIGNS THE ROYAL FAMILY MAY BE OUT TO GET YOU
- Unidentified Royal Family Member seen reading Popular Hitman Magazine
- Queen announces new "Let's Get Them" Summer Games
- 007 informs you that you're on your own
- Your picture is in the center of the Royal Dart Board
- Prince Charles seen Googling "How to cut brake lines."
Laugh a little, would ya?
