There's a new National Spelling Bee champion, with a name I can't pronounce her name who correctly spelled a word I'd never hear of before and don't know what it means, so I'm moving on to the next story.
A new study says that really potent pot can ruin your memory. In other news, a new study says that really potent pot can ruin your memory.
California's governor has asked residents to cut back on their water usage by 15%. In Hollywood, Ricki Lake is at her lowest level in years.
I'm just waiting for Pfizer and Moderna to seek F.D.A. approval for vaccine dart guns.
Yes, looking back, I probably should have told Conor McGregor "Good luck" instead of "Break a leg."
Yes that Virgin's Virgin flight into space over the weekend. The only thing that could have made it more redundant would have been if Branson landed in Branson, MO.
I've decided I'm not really into Stand-Up Paddle Boarding. But I am kind of fond of the paddling.
That recent Pacific Northwest heatwave is said to have killed thousands of clams and mussels along the coast. Baked 'em right on the beach. We were just an overturned butter truck away from a heck of a party.
A new survey says that American optimism is the highest it's been in 10 years. Call me pessimistic, but I'm afraid it may have peaked. Oh-oh, it just went down.
By the way, today's "Climate Change is a Hoax" rally has been canceled due to the high smoke levels in the air and the nearby fires.
Paris Hilton has landed her own cooking show on Netflix. She'll show you how to properly cook steaks, from rare to 'totally'!
Hard to believe we're already in the final days of Shark Week.
Remember the old saying, "If you can't stand the heat... ..don't worry. It's a dry heat."
Megyn Kelly says that the media portrayed the January 6th Capitol riot much worse than it really was. In fact, she claims the crowd was actually chanting, "Chill, Mike Pence", not ‘kill'. Uh-huh... .
Do you resent it when someone calls you, "Ma'am?" Uh, no, not you sir.
I remember when I was growing up one summer, my parents sent me to Mellencamp. He had no idea who I was, so he sent me right back.
As of October 1st in Connecticut, passengers in the back seats of cars will be required to use a seatbelt. When did we slip back to the 1960s?
A new and improved and less racially stereotypical Jungle Cruise ride opens up tomorrow at Disneyland. Among the changes: the statues of Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee have been removed.
Free-agent Richard Sherman was arrested yesterday in Seattle on charges of "Burglary Domestic Violence." Couldn't happen to a louder guy.
New York City restaurant Serendipity3 is offering $200 a plate French Fries. Special Chipperbeck potatoes, blanched in Dom Perignon, cooked three times in pure goose fat from cage-free birds raised in France, seasoned with truffle salt, and topped with shaved cheese made from the milk of sheep that grazed on the clay-rich hills of Crete and topped with 24-karat gold dust. Bottom line, if you're dining at Seredenipity3 and they ask, "Would you like fries with that?" Don't do it!
Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine eating 24-karat gold flakes and not trying to recover any of that.From Fac
A new study shows that high-potency marijuana has a lasting effect on your memory. They must have forgotten they had already done that study.
The wife of Dwayne Haskins has been charged with domestic battery after allegedly knocking out the backup Steelers quarterback's tooth earlier this month while the couple was in Las Vegas renewing their wedding vows. Obviously, not a traditional ceremony.
For all the legal trouble Richard Sherman faces, I can't help but think of how awkward it's going to be this year at Thanksgiving.
Kim Kardashian said she suffered from agoraphobia during the pandemic. Wait-isn't that when you don't go anywhere? Has anyone had a hard time seeing her over the last 16 months? I suppose that's considered famous-shaming.
The good news: Britany Spears has been permission by the court to pick her own attorney. The bad news: she picked Rudy Giuliani.
Nicolas Cage said he knew his relationship with his wife Riko Shibata 'would work' when he found out she kept flying squirrels. I wonder what color the sky is in his world?
A federal appeals court has ruled that Tiger King Joe Exotic should get a shorter prison sentence. Hopefully, next, they'll work on his hair.
A bottle of whiskey once owned by J.P. Morgan and said to be the oldest bottle of whiskey known sold at an auction for $137,000. In a related story, my birthday comes up in September.
From Facebook:
- She said she missed me. Normally, that would be good, but she's reloading.
- I'm not an early bird or a night owl. I'm some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
- It's a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV and it says, "Built in Antenna." I don't even know where that is!
- Someone just gave me half a peace sign. Weird.
- The guy at the furniture store said the couch would seat five people with no problems. Then it occurred to me-I don't know five people with no problems.
- Every time a bird craps on my car, I eat a plate of wings on my porch to show them what I'm capable of.
- All I want is the ability to do everything but also, the freedom to not do anything.
- Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
- Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year-old in a Batman shirt.
- How exactly did "Rub a dub, dub, three men in a tub" become a nursery rhyme?
- Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term, 'happy with a twist.'
- People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day.
- I hate when everyone is asking what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't even know what I'm doing today.
- I'm never quite sure if I have free time or if I'm just forgetting stuff.
- Today I called my mom, "Birth-giver" and she replied, "Yes, Financial Drain?"
- Remember when air at the gas station was free? Now it's $1.50. You know why? Inflation.
- Richard Branson saying he went to space is like someone doing a layover at La Guardia and saying they've been to New York.
- Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I was doing while I'm doing it.
- When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.
- Don't let the fear of what could happen, make nothing happen.
- Welcome to Facebooks, where everything you say can and will be used against you.
- The whole world is short-staffed. Be kind to those who show up.
- I'd just like to say thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes yesterday. But it's not until October.
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'VE GOT A BRAND-NEW HAIR STYLIST
- Constantly saying, "Oops!"
- Funny. There are no mirrors in the place.
- Is using safety scissors.
- Wants to know, "Which hair do you want me to cut?"
- Asks if you would mind if she uses a bowl
TOP FIVE WEIRD WAYS TO CELEBRATE BASTILLE DAY
- Storm the Bass Pro Shop
- Randomly throw French Fries at people
- Take a group tour of Paris Hilton
- Announce to your co-workers that you have to go Oui!
- Start breakfast by making a French Toast!
Laugh a little, would you??
