Washington State University football coach Nick Rolovich now says he will get the COVID vaccine after initially refusing. Had he stuck to his guns, he would have become the first Cougar to ever turn down a shot of anything.
Tesla is working on a humanoid that would do the household chores for you, called a "Tesla Bot." Somewhere, Will Smith is out there yelling, "No!!!!!"
Just hours after cover art for NHL 22 was shown, EA sports had to recall all advanced copies of the game sent out to testers. Apparently during beta testing, it was discovered that before going to the second round of the playoffs, the game would freeze. The irony of a hockey game freezing cannot be ignored.
Mike Richards is out as host of "Jeopardy" after just 9 days. Let's be honest, he always knew his job was in Jeopardy.
Here's the deal: I remember most of what I did back in 2013, so I'm definitely out as your next "Jeopardy" host.
The website OnlyFans.com is going to start banning "sexually explicit content" starting in October. On the upside, it frees up quite a bit of time.
I don't want to live forever. I just want to live long enough to see a new permanent Jeopardy host.
They had that big "New York is Back!" concert in Central Park on Saturday and had to cancel it when Tropical Storm Henri brought a thunderstorm to town. It came to a halt during Barry Manilow's performance. He had hoped that Henri was weakened in New England, but no such luck.
OK, quick comment. If you're to name a storm Henry with an "i", some people will be pronouncing it Henry... .others say ON-ree... .which sounds like onery, which doesn't begin with an H, so it should come as a later storm. But if you're not gong to pronounce ON-ree as Henry, then does that mean that ON-ree has been a Henry storm? Just, for God's sake, just call it Hank! Or maybe I'm just feeling onery.
A new study says that couch potatoes are 7 times more likely to have a stroke. To make matters worse, I had to watch the entire story on the news because the TV remote was on the far opposite side of the room.
Congressman Matt Gaetz of Florida got married over the weekend! That's one Luckey girl. Her name is Ginger Luckey. That's probably where it will end.
In his farewell address as New York's Governor, Andrew Cuomo said he would not pursue public office. Of course, it wasn't pursuing public office that got him in trouble.
The former governor is also denying reports that he left his dog behind and abandoned him at the governor's mansion. He's also asked if, for tracking purposes, we could add that to the list of the other denials he's been making.
Lucky Charms is offering "Only Marshmallows", little 4-ounce packets filled with just the marshmallows you normally find in the cereal. They even claim that each shape will give you magical powers, like being able to make things disappear or float. None of them will give you the power to pay off your VISA card balance.
Mayim Bialik is going to take over "Jeopardy" for a couple of weeks, as the search for a new permanent host resumes. Well, she's host until they uncover something on her.
Two members of congress flew to Kabul during the evacuation. Can I just say, "Worst travel agent ever!"
I can just hear them on the phone: "No, not Kabul. I said CABO!"
Kanye West wants to legally change his name to 'Ye'. I wonder if 'Thou' was already taken?
Letting someone go in front of you in line is the most common random act of kindness in the world... except right now in Afghanistan.
A survey reveals that one in three snake bite victims were drunk when bitten. 10% of those admitted that right before they were bit, they did say, "Oh, look a skinny kitty."
Oreo has a new flavor: Apple Cider Donut Oreo's. Can Oreo-flavored Apple Cider be far behind?
President Biden's popularity has plummeted, dropping to only a 41% approval rating. People are apparently upset with his handling of Afghanistan, the pandemic and the failure to secure a permanent new host for Jeopardy.
ONLYFans has dropped their ban on pornography, so break's over -- back to work!
A lot of state fairs are having a hard time finding workers. Brace yourself, we could be in for a deep-fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich shortage. Dear God!
32% of people say they are really good at being humble. I'm great at it!
They asked people for some of the boldest questions they've ever asked on a first date. Among them:
- Do you want to be married one day?
- Would you like to have children and how many?
- What are your religious beliefs?
- Tell me about your political beliefs.
Now, as for questions that are probably not a good thing to ask on a first date:
- You're not into sex, are you?
- Can you pay for everything?
- Did you tell anyone that we were meeting?
- What are your thoughts on concealed weapons?
From Facebook:
- McDonald's called out order 867, I yelled, "5309" and everyone just stared at me. I felt old. So I went out and ate my burger in the play area.
- I was walking through the forest when I saw a lizard standing on his hind legs, telling jokes. I said to my friend, "That lizard's pretty funny!" and he replied, "That's a not a lizard. He's a stand-up chameleon."
- Me: Can I drink alcohol on this medication? Doctor: Well, one drink is going to feel like you've had four. Me: So, I'm saving money!
- Doctor: How often do you exercise. Me: 3 times. Doctor: A week? A month? Me: You have my answer.
- When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery? Asking for a friend...
- I just want to be financially stable enough that I don't have to check the price before I buy cheese.
- Magic Johnson wasted the world's greatest porn star name on a basketball career.
- I have CDO. It's like OCD, but with all the letters in the correct order.
- Dance like nobody is watching, but text and email like it will be read in court one day.
- It's inappropriate to tell a dad joke if you're not a dad. Then it's a faux pa.
- I'm so mad that I spent the bulk of my skinny years thinking I was fat.
- I don't watch soccer. If I want to spend 90 minutes watching people struggling to score, I take my friends to a bar.
- People who can finish their shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly gifted.
- Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.
- I was just elected president of my local IKEA. Now, to begin assembling my cabinet.
- The next time you're feeling down, remember, life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, and reads two books a week and yet all he does is complain about how much he hates prison.
- Is it wrong to think about sushi when at an aquarium? Asking for a friend.
- I am now "take a picture of a label so I can blow it up and read it" years old.
- Do the people who are paying $300 for a colon cleanse know that Taco Bell has a $4.99 super meal?
- SIGN IN A RESTAURANT: Welcome! A bartender or server will be with you shortly. We appreciate your patience. If you are out of patience, feel free to fill out an application.
- I saw in the store today that corn is a buck an ear. A buck an ear? That's piracy.
- Next week has already been exhausting.
TOP FIVE POSSIBLE TITLES FOR THE MOVIE BASED ON THE LIFE OF MIKE RICHARDS
- "Hosted, then Ghosted"
- "May I give you a misogyny?
- "The 9-Day Host"
- "I'd Like Famous Cancellations for $100, please"
- "Wheel of Misfortune"
TOP FIVE PRODUCTS THAT WE HOPE THEY NEVER MAKE
- Pumpkin Spiced Candy Canes
- The new Oreo's "Racial Divide" Cookies
- Taylor Swift Kick in the Buns
- Candy Cream Corn
- Pumpkin Spice Pumpkin
Laugh a little, would ya?
