This Week's Wacks

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November 9th, 2007

The bad news: Hollywood writers have gone on strike. The good news: plans for "From Justin to Kelly 2" have been put on indefinite hold.

Writers in Hollywood say they are ready to walk. Meanwhile, in a related story, walkers say that they ready to write.

A California woman is suing Paris Hilton because she claims the socialite stole her style. That's hot.

I'm going to just safely assume she's not referring to her "on home video" style.

Boy the rivalry of those daytime talk shows is getting serious. Today, Oprah gave every member of her studio audience one of the dogs Ellen has thought about adopting.

Last weekend was the "time-change" weekend... or, as they like to say in Colorado, "Spring ahead, fall four straight."

With the 2008 Olympics scheduled for Beijing next year, they say over 3500 kids in China have been named "Olympics." This according to government spokesperson "1984 International Dental Convention" Chou.

Katie Holmes ran the New York City Marathon on Sunday. She ran it in 5 hours, 29 minutes before the Scientologist counselors caught up with her.

The Hollywood writers have gone out on strike. When asked for a comment, all the late night TV show hosts were speechless.

The bad news is they went on strike before making up their picket signs. Unfortunately, they're walking the picket lines with a bunch of blanks.

Because of the writers strike, "The Jimmy Kimmel Show" has been canceled until further notice. So, there is an up-side.

Because of the writers strike, all of the late-night talk shows are going to reruns. If you missed all the Lindsay Lohan jokes the first time around, here's your chance to get caught up.

In Iowa, a woman is trying to sell her breast milk in a newspaper ad: 100 ounces for $200. I've checked: per ounce, it's still cheaper than Starbucks!

The writers strike continues in Hollywood. Details are available, but obviously, not written down.

Even if they settle the writers' strike, the readers are threatening to walk out next year!

According to a new survey, 80% of adult Americans use the Internet. In a related story, only 20% of Americans still subscribe to Playboy or Playgirl.

CBS is going to produce a weekly newscast for the Gay TV network, Logo. I suppose the fact that I didn't know there was a Logo network says something.

You thought news anchors had nice hair NOW?

Fred Thompson told a FOX news reporter that he probably won't win the race for the presidency. With that kind of honesty, he should.

Angelina Jolie admits that she's not much of a cook. Yeah and I'll bet she's not very good at hockey, either. There are just some things you can work around.

A man in Texas has set a new world record by spending 45 minutes in a see-through bathtub with 87 rattlesnakes. And you thought YOUR Monday was tough.

Pat Robertson has endorsed Rudy Giuliani for president. Fred Thompson, John McCain and Mitt Romney have all sent Robertson a thank you note.

An earthquake measuring 6.0 hit Bangladesh yesterday. Damage is estimated to be at least several dollars.

George Osmond, the father of all the Osmonds, died this week at age 90. At least he lived long enough to see his daughter faint on national TV.

General Motors lost $39-billion in the third quarter. You'd think they'd be out looking for it.

In an official statement today, General Motors blamed the $39-billion loss on Joe Torre.

After announcing the $39-billion loss, the CEO of GM said, "Hey, at least we're not Charlie Weiss."

Astronomers say they've discovered another solar system, deep in space that has five planets orbiting a sun-like star, along with 7 Starbucks.

A Los Angeles city councilman has proposed an official city ban on the "n-word" and exiling Michael Richards to Catalina Island.

A Boston-area Catholic priest has been arrested on charges of stalking late night talk show host Conan O'Brien. Father, isn't he a little old for you?

Britney Spears' mother says she blames herself for the way Britney turned out. I thought we had already established that a long time ago.

George Ball of Norfolk, Virginia, has the honor of being the tallest man in the U.S... at 7-foot, 8-inches. For fun, he likes to walk up to Yao Ming and call him "Shorty."

Country music star Kenny Chesney won "Entertainer of the Year" this week at the Country Music Association Awards. Now maybe he can afford a shirt with sleeves.

This is "Leave the friggin' clocks alone" weekend. For Pete's sake, it's already too dark when I get off work!


   1. "Prison Coffee Break"
   2. "How you remind me of my mother"
   3. "CSI: West Hollywood"
   4. The Larry Craig series, "Two and a half Men's room"
   5. "Gays of our Lives"

                                       LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Tim