This Week's Wacks

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December 14th, 2007

According to a website,, Sarasota, Florida is home to the ugliest home in America. The folks over at say it's in another city. I think there are too many websites.

A week ago today, Donald Trump walked into a Los Angeles restaurant, ordered soup, iced tea, pasta and cappuccino, and left the waitress a $10,000.00 tip. I had no idea his math was that bad.

Kiefer Sutherland spent the first of his 48 days in jail for a DUI conviction folding laundry. Is that what they call it?

Singer Amy Winehouse received six Grammy nominations last week. The nominations were read, live, off the tattoos on her left arm.

What we really need is a Christmas song called, "The Carol of the Bills."

Jessica Biel has been named the cleanest celebrity by SoCal Cleanse Detox users. Amy Winehouse was voted the most unclean by, well, frankly everyone.

Jack Nicholson says that men are like dogs and completely forget about a woman an hour after having sex with her. I guess that explains why Jack likes to use chopsticks with his women.

New Jersey is considering abolishing the death penalty. They figure being sentenced to prison and having to live in New Jersey should be penalty enough.

Of course, with having to live in New Jersey, there is the issue of "cruel and unusual punishment."

Kiefer Sutherland is said to be getting over 100 fan letters a day while in jail. Of course, most of those are from Chloe.
Well, I suppose 48 days of jail time is one way to make sure you get your Christmas cards done.

How are the striking writers supposed to let Santa Claus know what they want for Christmas?

Republican presidential hopeful Ron Paul now has his own dirigible, the "Ron Paul Blimp" to promote his run for president. Fred Thompson also has a... oh, wait... that's just Fred.

Of course, Hillary Clinton says a blimp is not for her because she's opposed to inflation. Everyone's gotta get a dig in...

Jessica Simpson says she's so serious about becoming an actress that she would consider a part that has a nude scene.  Damn this writers' strike!

Pee Wee Herman says he's been working on two movie scripts and should have the first one out in the movie theater in 2009.(hey, wasn't that why he was once arrested--for having one out?)

Hard to believe I've only got 11 more days to put off my Christmas shopping.

David Blaine's next stunt? To stay awake for 12 days.  What's the stunt?  Isn't that called "having a kid"?


   1. The "According to Jim" Manger Scene
   2. "This card made out of 100% recycled reindeer droppings"
   3. Eggnog toothpaste
   4. Tinkle Tinsel (I don't want to know)
   5. Figgy Pudding Pops


   1. "The Hammer"
   2. "Stretch"
   3. "Toy Boy"
   4. "The Wagon-maker"
   5. "Elf Elf Cool J"

                                       LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Tim