This Week's Wacks

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March 21st, 2008

President Bush says if he were a younger man, he'd go over and work in Afghanistan. Alright, who's got connections for fake I.D.?

I'm still trying to get over $4,000 for a hooker. My first car cost $4,000. Of course, it had a governor on it, too.

Monday was St. Patrick's Day and we got to enjoy all those traditions: Green beer, bad Irish accents, seeing Michael Jackson accidentally hit on a leprechaun...

Minnie Driver is expecting her first child.  So,do you name the baby "Lousy" or "Wreckless"?

Halle Berry had a baby girl over the weekend. Hand over the cutest baby awards now. All of 'em.

Not sure I know who the father is. Frankly, don't care.

Gas has been spotted at $5.20 in California. It's easier to notice those things when you can't afford to drive anywhere and are forced to walk.

I'm no financial wizard, but the big news of the day has to be the government having to bail out Bear Bryant.

Hours after assuming office, New York's new governor confessed that HE had an affair. But he emphasized that he never paid cash for any of his relationships. I feel an American Express commercial coming on.

Actually, the governor said that both he and his wife had affairs at the same time. This just in: New York is moving the state capitol from Albany to the Playboy mansion.

There's a new FOX series in here somewhere...

St. Patrick's Day was Monday, wasn't it? Oh, shoot: I missed Tuesday!

Monday was St. Patrick's Day. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer celebrated by giving money to an Irish hooker named Courtney.

Hopefully he won't end up catching something green.

Madonna is denying rumors that there's martial trouble between she and her husband, director Guy Ritchie. Although, Ritchie has announced that some day he'd like to be Governor of New York.

Paris Hilton is going to search for a new girlfriend as part of a reality TV show.  Each week, contestants will compete, but only one lucky person will get to leave.

Halle Berry has named her baby girl, “Nahla Ariela”…which translated, means “my mom is hotter than your mom”.

Thursday was the first day of spring.  I could tell, because I saw the birds & bees peeking into the New York Governor’s mansion and taking notes.

David Beckham has a new tattoo that says, “Death and life have determined appointments. Riches and honor depend upon heaven.”

“Hi, mom” would have been so much less painful.

Astronomers using the Hubble Space Telescope have detected methane in the atmosphere of a planet outside Earth's solar system.  Ironically, it's the planet Beano.

Some people are saying that there could be a real tough challenge ahead at this summer's Beijing Olympics…with squat toilets!  I think they're adding way too many sports into the games.

People Magazine said they had exclusive pictures of Jennifer Lopez' twins.  I bought the magazine. They were pictures of her babies--NOT her twins.


   1. "Dye Hard Boiled Easter Eggs With a Vengeance"
   2. "10,000 Blue Peeps"
   3. "Bunny Girl"
   4. "From Hare to Eternity"
   5. "Chicks! Chicks! Chicks!"

                                       LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?