This Week's Wacks
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August 8th, 2008
Wow, this is my 666th edition of "What a Wacky Week". It's the Wack of the Devil!
Huh....the 666th edition....on the date 8-8-08. Coincidence? Yeah, I guess so.
Today's date is 8-8-08. It sounds like you're telling someone what you did on a cruise: Oh, we... ..ate... .ate... .and, oh, ate... ... .
NASA has confirmed that there is water on the planet Mars... which, of course, means that some day, we'll be able to close down a Starbucks there, too.
Snoop Dogg's tour bus was pulled over by police last Thursday in Texas and two people on board were arrested on marijuana charges. Yeah, I'm shocked, too -- only two?
It took 'em 20 minutes to get the driver to open the door. He kept telling the officer, "Dave's not here!"
Britney Spears' latest love is a former Israeli soldier and her former bodyguard, Lee. He's now doing more than just guarding.
A judge has ruled that Britney Spear's dad will remain in charge of her affairs. To which Senator John Edwards replied, "You can have someone do that?"
Now, they're talking about the curse of "The Dark Knight." Heath Ledger's passing, Christian Bale's arrest, Morgan Freeman's car accident, I saw the movie and the other day at lunch, my soda was flat...
Gas prices are at an 11-week low. Does this mean I get to bring my suitcase on the plane for free now? Hello?
I doubt it. One of the airlines announced today that they're going to charge for snacks by the peanut.
These falling oil and gas prices make it tough: I don't know who to laugh at!
I watched Miley Cyrus and the Teen Choice Awards the other night as long as I could, but with all that screaming, I got an achy-breaky headache.
John Gotti has been arrested and charged with alleged involvement of three murders. Boy, who could have ever seen that coming?
The McCain campaign has released a TV ad that compared Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. A spokesman for Paris has said, "That's not hot... I think."
Although, we should point out, up until last week, John McCain thought they were a type of asparagus and a French hotel.
PBS is going to remove Mr. Rogers Neighborhood from its lineup in September. It's a sucky day in the neighborhood.
I don't want even tell you what X the Owl has been forced to do.
China has apologized after a group of journalists complained they had been roughed up by police and they said it will never happen again. Not the roughing up... the part about journalists complaining.
Paris Hilton has responded to John McCain's political ad featuring her and done one of her own. OK, that's points against McCain for giving Paris Hilton a chance to be relevant again.
Playgirl magazine is shutting down the paper part of their business... but you'll still be able to get the articles on the web.
The Justice Department has busted up the largest identity theft ring in our country's history. Among those arrested: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin.
John McCain's daughter is writing a children's book based on his life. This will be the first time his life has been written about on something other than papyrus.
Larry King is getting divorced. Maybe the 8th time will be the charm.
At least King was smart this time and only rented the wedding ring.
Shoot -- Monday was National Underwear Day and I forgot to wear some. TMI?
I saw a car with one of those Paris Hilton bumperstickers. It said, "Paris Hilton, like, for President".
Larry King says he's not sure about divorcing his wife. Oh, they're getting a divorce---"he's just not sure if she was #7 or #8.
President Bush visited South Korea this week... but said he didn't have time to work in a visit to that other country to the north, whatever it's called.
The Jackson Five is going to reunite next month. The four original brothers and what's left of Michael.
TOP FIVE INDICATIONS SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER
1. Baseball pitcher knocked over by wide receiver going deep for a pass
2. I just saw my first Christmas ad on cable TV
3. My front yard seen at drug store buying Grecian formula for lawns
4. Slip 'n slide has stopped slipping
5. Ice cream man's ice cream is now three years and FOUR months old
TOP FIVE INDICATIONS ITS AN ATHLETE'S FIRST TIME AT THE OLYMPICS
1. Wins a gold medal and immediately has it bronzed
2. Caught three times roasting marshmallows over Olympic torch
3. "Which one's the team from the Vatican?"
4. Hopes to see real Olympic Village People
5. Thought the five Olympic circles marked the ring toss booth
LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?
Tim
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