This Week's Wacks

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October 16th, 2008

That very scary day is only a few weeks away:  yep, Election Day!  AWWWWWW!
I scared myself!

Aw, Monday...the Stock Market stands on the diving board of another exciting week.

Man, last week was rough on Wall Street. The Dow Jones was dropping faster than Bill Clinton's pants at a nurse's convention.

Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader has announced he's going to open up 22 campaign offices nationwide. I believe that's one for each voter.

President Bush says that everyone needs to do their part for the economy. For example, to support T-bills, he says he's going to drink more tea.

The cost of a barrel of oil has plummeted to $78! Whaddya say we go out and egg some hybrids?

Talks continue between GM and Chrysler on the topic of merging. If they did, it would create the world's largest auto-making company not selling anything.

I gotta tell you , each week I am amazed at how "Saturday Night Live" can pack 7-minutes of great comedy into just an hour and a half.

Tina Fey says that come November 4th, regardless of the outcome of the election, she is done imitating Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Man, she is such a maverick!

Southern California continues to burn. Just to be clear, that's the LA fire that's hot and can't be stopped... NOT to be confused with the LA Dodgers.

President Bush said that with less than 100 days left in his term, he's still got "a lot of work to do." Mr. President, haven't you already done enough?

British singer M.I.A. has confirmed that she's pregnant. Obviously, action is not what she was missing.

Tonight is the final of the three presidential debates. This is the one where we get on our phones and vote, right? Is the results show tomorrow night?

Why is it that it's so hard to figure out who's telling the truth in the presidential race, yet we know every little detail about what it's like to grow up as Marcia Brady?

Paula Abdul is upset that Simon Cowell is getting paid four times as much as she is to be a judge on "American Idol"... and says she'll be saying a lot less this season. The plan is working perfectly...

A new study suggests that drinking alcohol may actually cause your brain to shrink. Understand me not.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are about to announce they're getting divorced. Man, who could have seen that coming?

Now A-Rod and Madonna can finally be together!

Dick Cheney's heart is acting up again...Nancy Reagan fell and broke her hip...I think it's time to hand things off to the younger ones, like John McCain. (Thanks TS)

It's been a tough year to be a Seahawks fan. Now, we're looking ahead in the schedule to see which games we might win. The Hawks play the Eagles on November 2nd and I've got my fingers crossed. Don Henley isn't quite as fast as he used to be...

The world has gone mad. Last night, Hugh Hefner twin girlfriends were seen having dinner out with Joe Sixpack and Joe the Plumber. I can't keep up.

I've decided my new nickname is "Joe I'm-tired-of-all-this-can-we-just-vote?"

The NFL is considering the idea of spring exhibition games! Must be for the players who don't like the idea of staying healthy for too many months in a row.

Wow... I just woke up. Man, that was a deep sleep. So, is the presidential debate over?


   1. At halftime, a contest: Which one's Sarah Palin and which one's Tina Fey?
   2. A Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake pre-debate song
   3. Slipped itch powder inside both of their suits
   4. Hook up both candidates to lie detectors.
   5. Food fight!

                               LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?                                                                                                                                      

PS--Don't miss this week's E-Mail of the Week with apologies to the Las Vegas Visitors and Convention Bureau