This Week's Wacks
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November 21st, 2008
So it appears the transition is going quite well at the White House and it's all systems go. There should be absolutely no problems on January 20th when Barack Obama takes over for Dick Cheney.
President Bush is warning against too much government in markets. Hey, he's been at that job for 8 years. We better listen to him or things could go wrong.
The new James Bond movie had a $70-million opening... or, as bankers would describe it, "a small bailout."
Tim McGraw and Faith Hill have put their Beverly Hills home up on the market, for $14.8-million. It comes complete with six bedrooms, 7-1/2 bedrooms and even a cement pond!
Sarah Palin is being asked to write a book that could bring in around $7-million. That would keep her in new clothes until at least early next year.
Barack Obama supposedly is considering Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State and a Boston Terrier for a first dog. Boy, I hope he doesn't get those mixed up.
The U.S. Post Office is losing money and looking at some serious cutbacks. For example, when you mail a letter... they plan to start holding on to it for only four days instead of five.
A new study says that unhappy people tend to watch more TV and I'd just like to thank your unrewarding life for making it possible for you to be here.
Tuesday, an astronaut working on the International Space Station lost her bag of tools that drifted off into space. The good news, they were Craftsman tools, so they have a lifetime guarantee. The problem is, now she's gotta find a Sears.
If only she could call NASAAA.
Over 4 million people are expected in Washington, DC, for Barack Obama's inauguration. At first, he said that many people can't come and they replied, "Yes we can!"
Yes, January 20th is when Barack Obama will become our 44th president and our first King.
The crew of the International Space Station were scrambling after one of the astronauts lost a bag of tools in space. Astronaut Maxwell Smart says he doesn't know how it happened.
A student bonfire is apparently to blame for starting those California fires. Those students better hope they're grading on a curve.
Mark Cuban, Internet entrepreneur and owner of the Dallas Mavericks has been indicted with charges with insider trading. Let's see if he can dance his way out of this one.
Hard to believe that a week from today, I'll be complaining that it's too early to put our Christmas lights up yet.
Thursday was the "Great American Smokeout". I started smoking again Monday just so I could take part. I'm such a belonger.
Of course, I know a couple of turkeys that said, "Why bother?" Hmmmmmmm, smoked turkey………
Al Qaeda has a new video out. It's the usual collection of threats, but this is the first one they've offered on Blue Ray….
Wednesday night, if you had clear skies, you could have seen the International Space Station with the naked eye. Using a telescope, you could have also seen a bag of tools floating by….
Pamela Anderson says that marijuana should be legalized. Yeah, that's what we need: to have the national IQ emulate the stock market.
Pamela Anderson says marijuana should be legalized. I'd love to hear her logic…any logic….even a hint of logic……
A priest has released a document in which a German medic confessed to him that Adolf Hitler only had one testicle. During World War I, the medic had treated Hitler and had seen it for himself. The story has caused quite a fuehrer.
TOP FIVE THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR A TURKEY SAY THIS TIME OF YEAR
1. "I'm not a turkey -- I'm just a tall chicken!"
2. "Yeah, we do lunch... but it's gotta be by next Wednesday"
3. "Gobble! Gobble! Gobble! Yadda! Yadda! Yadda!"
4. "I don't know if I'm tired or if it's the tryptophan!"
5. "You should see my 401K! Bring on Thanksgiving"
LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?
Tim
PS--Don't miss this week's E-Mail of the Week where we attempt to explain what women really mean.
PSPS--Something new! It's my very own, long-threatened, now-actually-a-reality blog page. I look forward to hearing what YOU have to say: Click here