This Week's Wacks
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December 12th, 2008
Boy George has been found guilty of "false imprisonment." Apparently it's getting harder and harder to get people to listen to your albums these days.
I was going to say, "Where did he go wrong?" but it seems to me Boy George has been pretty wrong for a long time already, hasn't he?
Alex Rodriguez says that he and Madonna are "just friends." Of course, he also claims to be a third baseman.
Tough times at NBC. The news division has announced several layoffs and as far as the NBC peacock goes... let's just say Thanksgiving dinner was a little different this year.
The price of gas is at its lowest level in five years. The first person who says the phrase, 'those poor oil companies' will be asked to leave.
President-elect Barack Obama says that "it's going to get worse before it gets better." He was either talking about the U.S. economy or the crowds at the mall, one of the two...
Bill Clinton says he is open to a role in the Obama administration. I heard he was interested in any position, which is pretty much the common wisdom.
Christmas is just two weeks from Thursday. I'm not hitting the panic button yet... I'm just making sure all the papers are out of the way so that I can get to it when I'm ready.
Tough times at NBC. They laid off 500 folks last week. You can notice a more edgier feel around the network these days. For example, the new slogan for one show is "Screw the cheerleader, it's every hero for themselves!"
Around the network, everyone's saying NBC stands for "No Bonus Coming."
President-elect Barack Obama met with Al Gore on Tuesday. Al reminded him that he invented meetings.
It was the first time that Gore had meant with Obama since the election and the first time EVER that he had met with someone who legitimately won in Florida.
McDonald's is reporting that in spite of the bad economy, sales were up last month. In a related story, GM announced that effective immediately, they're going to start making all of their cars out of bread, meat and grease.
18-year-old Emma Watson says she would go naked in a movie IF it was the right part. And frankly, for being naked on camera, the right parts are really all that matter.
An extra second will be added on at the end of the year so that we can stay in sync with atomic time. Wow, even the clocks need a bailout.
More layoffs were announced this week by several companies. Everyone's down-sizing these days except Oprah.
I'm trying to figure out what to buy my dad for Christmas. It's between a subscription to Sports Illustrated or an Illinois Senate Seat.
Even NPR is experiencing some budget cuts and will layoff 65 employees. The layoffs were made possible by an endowment from Exxon-Mobil.
Yes, that's Jennifer Aniston on the cover of GQ wearing only a man's neck tie. Frankly, I think the photo should have been a little less formal. She didn't need the tie.
Bill Gates went before congress today, asking for a bailout... just to make sure they were really paying attention.
Barack Obama admits that he's a bit of a closet smoker. He promises that he won't smoke in the Oval Office... but he might sneak a smoke or two in the Oval closet.
Women were quick to recognize the Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich. He was that guy at the restaurant who pulled out the chair and said, "Here, let me get that seat for you... for $100."
Further investigation of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich shows that he may have sold more seats this year than the Oakland Raiders.
The good news for Rod Blagojevich: at least now, we all know how to pronounce his name!
Oprah Winfrey now admits she weighs over 200 pounds. I had always said that, someday, I was going to have more than Oprah... but that's not what I meant.
TOP FIVE REASONS WHY SANTA IS SO JOLLY
1. Able to ditch the hybrid sleigh and get back to reindeer power
2. He knows when Pam Anderson's been naughty
3. Voted Obama
4. He cashed out all his stocks three months ago
5. You've never asked what's in that pipe, have you?
LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?
Tim
PS--Don't miss this week's E-Mail of the Week for very disturbing picture of Santa Claus
PSPS--Something new! It's my very own, long-threatened, now-actually-a-reality blog page. I look forward to hearing what YOU have to say: Click here