This Week's Wacks
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December 24th, 2008
As Adam said in the Garden of Eden, "It's Christmas, Eve!"
Burger King has released their very own fragrance, called "Flame"... which they describe as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." This could give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Would you like fries with that?"
Burger King is coming out with their own fragrance called "Flame." Apparently "Vat of Grease" was already taken.
President Bush says he's working on a plan to bailout the American Auto Industry. He better be careful, or he could do something unpopular!
According to a new survey, 67% of pet owners say their pets "talk" to them. I know my schnauzer thinks that's a lot of crap.
Thieves broke into Paris Hilton's Hollywood home and made off with $2 million in jewelry. Paris says that she "feels so violated and... OOOH, look at that shiny Christmas ornament!"
Criss Angel went to Disneyland for the first time ever last week. The only awkward moment was when his girlfriend, Holly Madison, was offended by the seven dwarfs. All they were doing was singing, "Hi ho, hi ho... "
I'm so exhausted. I haven't slept well the past several nights. Someone gave my four calling birds my cell phone number. So, they keep calling me.
I saw one of those classic Christmas scenes today: Madonna and child... although, he hates being called "child". He prefers "Alex" or "A-Rod."
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger says that his state could run completely out of money in the next two months. His exact words were, "I'll be broke".
It's an all-sing: "California, no income....right back where they started from....."
Hillary Clinton has forgiven a $13-million loan she made to her presidential campaign. I'm glad she was able to settle her own differences.
TOP FIVE REASONS SANTA MIGHT SKIP YOUR HOUSE THIS YEAR
1. You run General Motors and with the bailout money, who needs Santa?
2. Who knew he'd be offended when you left out reindeer milk
3. Tired of falling for that "rubber cookies" trick
4. He still hasn't forgotten that time you put grease on the roof
5. That recall campaign you launched against him last year
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU DID YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AT 7-11
1. Slurpee stains on the gift tag
2. Who else carries the beef jerky Christmas sampler?
3. Lotto tickets! Lotto tickets! Lotto tickets!
4. "A newspaper! What a unique idea!"
5. I'll bet this hot dog was much better when it was warm
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL, A GOOD WACK!
LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?
Tim
PS--Don't miss this week's E-Mail of the Week if you didn't get your Christmas card from Sarah Palin
PSPS--Something new! It's my very own, long-threatened, now-actually-a-reality blog page. I look forward to hearing what YOU have to say: Click here