This Week's Wacks

The 715th edition!
Breaking Babe Ruth's Record!

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July 17th, 2009

Almost 75% of South Korean male office workers say they feel uncomfortable when female colleagues show too much leg or cleavage in the workplace. May I be the first to say, "Whiners!"

Epic Records says they have a new Michael Jackson album, but are waiting to release it out of respect for the singer's memory. Translation: the old ones are selling like hotcakes right now.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she sees no need for a House resolution in praise of Michael Jackson. Fans of the singer say they would like to see Pelosi buried at Neverland... today.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has resigned and is going to leave her job at the end of the month. Rumor has it she's going to write a book, titled, "What I can see from my front yard!"

A man was gored to death Friday at Pamplona's running of the bulls -- the first fatality in 14 years. Boy who could have seen that coming?

My chip speed is slow, my RAM is dragging....and besides all that, my computer is also running slow this morning!

An 84-year-old man in Colorado has earned his high school diploma. Kegger at 4pm!

Confirmation hearings are underway for Sonia Sotomayor. I forget what you're supposed to get for a confirmation gift: a Bible or a Catechism?

Do we really need anti-piracy laws? I mean, when was the last time you were bothered by pirates?

Natalie Portman has joined the cast of the movie about the comic book superhero, "Thor." OK, I have to say it: "Thor? Thor? I can barely thtand up!"

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are done. Tony broke up with her in a cruel way. It was the old classic, "Go out for a pass. OK, keep going... keep going... keep going... "

I like how they introduced the American League last night at the All-Star game: "Ichiro at the plate, plus eight!"

I'm waiting for someone to develop something that writes Twitter stuff for you. Then again, they'll probably ban 'artificial tweeteners'

This year's edition of the American classic had a very interesting moment... when the 9th inning rolled around, the National League called time out and manager Joe Maddon ran up into the stands and asked President Obama for a federal bailout.

Pet Airways began flying this week: the first airline for pets only! They really move their tail for you and, well, for most anyone.

Seats are available in two categories: First class and kennel.

A New Hampshire man swiped his debit card at a convenience store so he could buy a pack of cigarettes…and the total bill came to $23-Quadrillion!  Frankly, the most surprising part of this story to me:  my spellchecker recognized "quadrillion".

Oh, sure, that seems expensive, but you can get a carton for only $139-Quadrillion!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has cleared his schedule this week to go on a personal trip with his wife.  I'm guessing that Argentina was scratched off pretty early on the list of possible destinations.


   1. "Harry Potter and the National League finally Win the All-Star Game"
   2. "Harry Potter and the half blood Prince Fielder"
   3. "Harry Potter and the half blood artist formerly known as Prince"
   4. "Harry Potter and the half blood bank prince"
   5. "Harry Potter and the half blood Prince Michael 1 & 2"


  1. "Obamas Maximus My Taxes"
   2. "Joe Bidenus Regrettus He Seddit"
   3. "Oprah-us Oomus Oomus Oprah-us"
   4. "Joe Jacksonus is Disgustingus"
   5. "Hermoine's Hiney is Finey" (wait... how did THAT get in here?)

                                               LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?        

PS--Don't miss this week's E-Mail of the Week for an "E-mail of the week" exclusive
PSPS--  Check out my blog, which includes an "David Archuleta" concert review. Click  here