This Week's Wacks
The 724th edition!
It's like a dyslexic 24/7!
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September 18th, 2009
A radio friend in Yakima passed this one along: Quality is like buying oats. If you want clean fresh oats, you must pay a fair price. However, if you can be satisfied with oats that have already been through the horse, those come a bit cheaper
The world's oldest person has died, at age 115. I tell you, that title is cursed!
President Obama says he won't tolerate scare tactics when it comes to healthcare reform. Mostly because scare tactics cause cancer.
A new message from Osama bin Laden has appeared on a terrorist website. In it, he denounced America and said Kanye West was way out of line!
Here in Seattle, the Seattle Mist beat the San Diego Seduction in the season opener of the Bikini Football League... by some score. Then again, who was paying attention?
Hey, grab that audio of Kanye taking the microphone away from Taylor Swift and have him interrupt YOUR show all morning.
Kanye West told Jay Leno Monday night that after the Taylor Swift incident, he was "going to take a little time off." Funny, so were his music sales!
In Malaysia, a 107-year-old woman wants to get married again... for the 23rd time. Macy's has just gone ahead and given her a permanent bridal registry.
Patrick Swayze has died of cancer at age 57. Can I just say that Kanye West deserved to win that honor more.
I set my DVR to tape "The Biggest Loser" and when I went to watch it, it had recorded a Kanye West concert.
The craziest moment of the week has to be when Kanye West took the microphone away from Taylor Swift at the VMA's, said that Beyonce deserved the aware and Congressman Joe Wilson yelled out, "You lie!" We've officially come unglued.
Tom Delay was injured while rehearsing for "Dancing with the Stars." According to his partner, he kept "going to the right and going to the right... "
It won't stop him becoming a better dancer, but, of course, there will probably be a Delay.
Osama bin Laden has released a new video. The weird part: mid-way through it, Kanye West interrupts him and says Beyonce's video is much better.
Google is offering a new program called "Fast Flip" that lets you flip through on-line websites like a newspaper. For an extra $10, you can get the full newspaper experience and have the web pages delivered to the bushes next to your front porch.
Radio buddy Marty Riemer said it: "Patrick Swayze made it OK for guys to dance... and I'll always hate him for it."
Susan Boyle sang on American TV for the first time this week, performing the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses." I was really hoping she'd do "Paint it black."
Chris Brown has started serving his 180-day community service sentence in Virginia. Kanye West has already stopped by to tell him that Beyonce's public service work was much better.
Kevin Skinner was the million dollar winner on "America's Got Talent". I'll bet his cousin Leonard is jealous.
Using gene therapy, scientists have been able to reverse color blindness in monkeys. Not that it was that hard for them to tell which one was the banana... ... but still... ...
TOP FIVE DRAWBACKS OF BEING MARRIED 23 TIMES
1. If only I had rented the wedding ring...
2. I knew I should have gotten plastic flowers during wedding #4
3. Pastor doesn't sign wedding license, he uses rubber stamp
4. You've started getting rice marks on your face
5. It's our anniversary? Which one are you again?
TOP FIVE REASONS I'M GLAD JAY LENO IS BACK
1. I'm sick of hearing the Sam and Dave song, "Hold on"
2. Think of all that commercial space that opens up
3. I was starting to think that jaywalking was an illegal pedestrian activity
4. I like to flash back to the "pre-Conan" days
5. Helps out with current deficit of silver-haired TV stars
LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?
Tim
PS--Don't miss this week's E-Mail of the Week page for your invitation to a bacon & wine tasting
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