This Week's Wacks

The 732nd edition!
Tonight's winning lottery numbers are 7-3-2!

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November 13th, 2009

A TV version of the movie "2012" is in the works. However, the ancient Mayan calendar predicts it'll be canceled after just two episodes.

Gee, a TV series about the world coming to an end. Isn't that called "The Nightly News"?

People are still talking about the election results in Maine. They approved medical marijuana, but voted down gay marriage. Closet pot smokers aren't exactly sure what to do!

"Sesame Street" is celebrating it's 40th birthday... although I think having Big Bird spell out the word, "prostate" was a bit much.

Nancy Pelosi passed one in congress over the weekend... AND she got the healthcare bill through!

It's hard to believe that the famous Berlin Wall fell 20 years ago this week. It's not surprising that it fell exactly one day after the warranty had expired.

The price of gold continues to skyrocket, which hurts the American dollar. In fact, the dollar's value now falls somewhere between the Canadian dollar and a roll of Charmin.

According to a new survey, New York City has the most rats in all of America. Some of them even have their own World Series rings.

The ski resort town of Breckenridge, Colorado, has passed a ballot measure that legalizes marijuana. They've also unveiled the new official city slogan: "Watch out for that tree!"

Most of the major cities and 9 states in Brazil were plunged into darkness for several hours Tuesday after a massive power outage. Might want to have that 2016 Olympic torch set on high, just in case. And lots of extra fuel...

Vice-President Joe Biden spoke at Washington State military base on Tuesday. I believe his speech is almost half-way over by now...

First lady Michelle Obama appeared on "Sesame Street" this week. Burt and Ernie apparently had a disagreement and she arranged a Root Beer Summit.

New York Governor Paterson says that New York will be broke before Christmas. Sadly, over 300,000 rats will have to be laid off, right before the holidays.

Because New York is in such desperate need of cash, you may see a little more commercialism popping up. For example, the Statue of Liberty is now holding a Duraflame log.

Al Gore's cable company has let go of 80 employees.  That would explain those carbon footprints leading to the unemployment line.

A Southern California historian says that she's gone over the Mayan calendar and it's true:  the calendar predicts the LA Clippers will finish last this season.

Lou Dobbs just up and quit at CNN.  He's now the leading candidate for this year's "Sarah Palin Award".that is, if Sarah doesn't just win it herself.

TOP FIVE WAYS ''THE WIZARD OF OZ'' WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF MADE TODAY

   1. Wait a minute! The Wizard's wearing the ruby slippers?...OHHHH!!!!
   2. Then again, probably not the Bears, either!
   3. Because of Detroit, Lions and Tigers wouldn't make them say, "Oh, my"
   4. Tin Woodsman would never reach Oz, after being accidentally recycled
   5. The Emerald City would actually be Emerald-ique

TOP FIVE YOUR PET TURKEY KNOWS SOMETHING IS UP

   1. Mrs. Cubbison stopped by and said to him, "See you in two weeks!"
   2. Dairy Queen Blizzard for breakfast, Dairy Queen Blizzard for lunch...
   3. Can't get his life insurance agent to return calls
   4. Replaced his normal bed with platter
   5. Getting a bath in butter doesn't seem right

                                               LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?        
               
                                               Tim


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