This Week's Wacks

The 733rd edition!
Just as the ancient Mayans predicted!

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November 20th, 2009

Rebecca Gayheart and husband Eric Dane are expecting their first child together. The good news: the "making of the child" video is already made.

Sarah Palin's new book, "Going Rogue," comes out on Tuesday. It's big enough to be someone's front porch.

The AMA is urging the federal government not to classify marijuana as a dangerous drug and to do more research. Party at the test crew's offices!

Ex New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer -- yes, the guy who was forced to resign because he used prostitutes -- delivered a speech this week at Harvard's Center for Ethics. His fee was $1,000. $1500 if they wanted a happy ending.

The movie "2012" was a huge box office hit over the weekend... just like the ancient Mayan calendar predicted.

The Who is going to perform during halftime of the next Superbowl game, February 7th. They do a medley of "CSI show" theme songs.

Santa is already showing up at a lot of the malls. Last Wednesday, he was even in a few places wearing his red flack jacket for Veterans Day.

President Obama is in China to meet with that country's leaders. In other words, it's a stockholders meeting.

I'm planning to watch an old episode of "Bonanza" tonight, because it's the one show on TV this week where Sarah Palin doesn't appear.

President Obama has lots of meeting with Chinese leaders lined up. Hu's on first, Wang's on second, Ida Ho's on third...

The NFL has fined Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams $250,000 for making an obscene gesture at Buffalo Bills fans. That breaks down to $125,000 a finger!

You'd think as an owner and with his financial means that Bud would have hired someone to flip off the crowd for him. I know it would have cost less than $250,000.

Hell, I would have done it for a flat $100,000. Bud, I'm available this weekend.

Earthquake Wednesday west of Vancouver, British Columbia. It was 6.6 on the Richter, minus, of course, the exchange rate.

President Obama has visited China's Great Wall... of course, the place for which Wal-Mart is named.

Researchers say that the amount of "bad cholesterol" in U.S. adults actually dropped over the past decade. I don't know about you, but I say this calls for a donut!

I wonder if they'd believe me at work if I told them the ancient Mayan calendar predicted I would take this day off?

President Obama says he probably won't be reading Sarah Palin's new book. Former President Bush says he won't be reading it, either, but he'll most likely color the pictures.

Some people are upset that President Obama bowed to the Emperor of Japan. Hey, he was just observing official protocol. Like the time Bush senior threw up in the lap of the Japanese prime minister. In that country, it's considered polite.

Disneyland has installed hand sanitizer in their theme parks, to help combat the spread of swine flu. They've also removed all restrictions on the Big Bad Wolf when it comes to those three little pigs.

CT scans of some mummies show that ancient Egyptians also suffered hardening of the arteries and heart disease. This might also explain why they always kill so many people when they're brought back to life.

I just realized that Carrie Prejean is a great example of one hand not wanting to know what the other one is doing!

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger says when his term is over, he's through with politics.  It was either that, or he said, "My worm loves clover and my shoes are really thick!"  It's so hard to understand him sometimes…

The NFL is clamping down on tailgate parties and setting a maximum time limit of 3-1/2 hours prior to each game.  Oh THAT'LL cut down on the drunk fans.

President Obama said it was the weirdest thing in China.  He'd have a meeting…and then, an hour later, he'd feel like having another meeting.

President Obama says he traveled to China to "get answers".  And, he got lots of answers, but he had to eat each of the cookies they came in.

President and Mrs. Obama traveled to China.  Vice-President Joe Biden stayed at home and for good reason.  The last time he met Chinese officials, he followed every sentence they said with "in bed".

If the Mayans were so good at predicting things, why aren't they still around?

The owner of the NFL's Tennessee Titans now says he was merely saying "Happy Thanksgiving" to Buffalo Bills fans when he was flipping them the bird.  Nice try


   1. The most obvious sign -- bearded Avon lady
   2. Kids always outside walking on telephone wires
   3. During winter, posts sign that says, "Greatest snow on earth!"
   4. That clown family that visited them last night and that little teeny car
   5. Elephant droppings in the front yard


   1. Team flag is now white
   2. Cheerleaders only stay for pre-game show
   3. New team rule: don't get your uniform dirty
   4. Two main receivers out after broken fingernail injury
   5. Offensive line now selling sacks

                                               LAUGH A LITTLE, WOULD YA?        

PS--Don't miss this week's E-Mail of the Week to see how pumpkin pie is made. Disturbing!
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