This Week's Wacks

The 785th Edition
"Short week--short Wacks"

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Lindsay Lohan's mom is suing "Glee" for calling her daughter crazy in last week's episode. Good thing she doesn't watch "South Park."

CBS has officially canceled the Patricia Arquette show, "Medium"... but of course, she must have known that was coming.

Donald Trump says he may take on Sarah Palin for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. All we need now is a dozen clowns packed into a tiny car and we're ready for the next election!

A new government study claims that 1 in 5 American adults have some sort of mental problem. You know those four normal friends of yours? They were right!!

It turns out all this controversy about what the Pope said has been blown out of proportion. He didn't say, "It might be OK to try a condom." He said, "To try Conan!"

Just in case these snow flurries continue, I'm getting out my snow tweezers.

A Facebook posting--"Would somebody please tell airport security inspectors that they are TSA; not T and A!"

I figure that, next year, if I can't score tickets for Oprah's "My Favorite Things" show, I'm going to just wait out in the parking lot for someone after the show. That's just too much for one person to walk away with!

Now, they say there's a serious bed bug problem in Paris, France. What makes the problem worse is not only do the bed bugs bite, they're also rude!

AAA says that 42-million Americans will be traveling for Thanksgiving this year... and that's' not counting all the traveling in the NBA.

On "Dancing with the Stars," my only wish is that Bristol Palin will be more like her mom... and quit before the end of the show.

Warner Brothers is talking about a new version of "The Wizard of Oz" and I'm just imagining the modern touches: the Cowardly Lion just going on Prozac, the Scarecrow buying a degree off of Craigslist and the flying monkeys having to go through TSA before taking off.

Wow, Jennifer Grey won "Dancing with the Stars" last night. Who knew she could dance?

I was afraid of what would happen last night when they announced the results. Then again, there's something catchy about the phrase, "The Great Bristol Palin Riots of 2010".

A new study out of the Netherlands claims that Wi-Fi is actually harming our trees. Although, when you think about it, using Wi-Fi means electronic documents, which means we're cutting down fewer trees, so I think they come out ahead.

Richard Simmons is complaining about those TSA searches at the airport. He's mad because they'll only let him go through one time!

I wonder what would happen if you got in a TSA line at the airport and asked for "a happy ending"?

North Korea has apparently fired on South Korea and I supposed we all agree that as long as Bristol Palin doesn't win it, we'll be OK.

Call me old fashioned, but I'm not opening any Christmas Tree virus on Facebook until after I've opened all my Thanksgiving viruses.

I built a snow dog today. For now, he's a mighty Husky, but I know when it warms up, he'll just end up a French puddle.

Kanye West AND Santa Claus will both be at the annual Macy's parade tomorrow. That can be nothing but problems. I can see it now--Santa yelling out, "Ho, ho, ho" and Kanye asking, "Where? Where? Where?"

I love how bloggers sitting at home, not planning to go anywhere for Thanksgiving, can suggest the idea that travelers can opt out, to make the airports a mess and everyone else late for the holiday.

The only "Opt-Out" I took part in over Thanksgiving Weekend was when someone brought a mince-meat pie to dinner.

OK, once Thanksgiving is behind us, I suppose it's time to put some Christmas lights up on the pumpkin out on my front porch.

First, there was "Dancing With The Stars", then "Skating With The Stars".now, it's time for "Turn Off My DVR With The Stars".

TOP FIVE MOST POPULAR PHRASES ON THANKSGIVING DAY

   1. "Can you turn up the volume on the game?"
   2. "Nice giblets!"
   3. "C'mere, my little Butterball!"
   4. "I want to watch a movie!" "I want to watch the game!"
   5. "Let us give thanks... that Aunt Mary is in Cabo this year"

TOP FIVE MOST POPULAR CHRISTMAS SONGS IF DOGS WROTE THEM

   1. "The Little Drummer Boy... Attack!"
   2. "The 84 Days of Christmas" (12 days, but in dog years)
   3. "Walkin' Around the Christmas Tree"
   4. "Bark! The Herald Angels Sing"
   5. "Oh Christmas Flea"

Laugh a little, would ya?
           Tim

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