This Week's Wacks

Our 814th Edition
"You know, six months from today is Christmas Eve"
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June 24th, 2011

Rush Limbaugh is coming out with his own brand of ice tea. Perfect for those
upcoming Tea Party events.
Enjoy lots of it, just don't drink it liberally.
In Boston, they'd like to keep the tea and throw him into the harbor.
Of course, it goes great with fried chicken, especially the right wing.

Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, has filed for divorce from
his third wife. Apparently, the final straw was when he told her to take
"one giant leap for mankind."

I never did understand why Crystal Harris wanted to marry Hugh Hefner. I
mean, what's he got that I haven't been treated for?

In Greece, 20,000 angry protestors filled the streets and threw yogurt at the police. We know the crowd was stirred. Not sure about the yogurt.

With Father's Day over, we're finally done having to suck up to mom and dad for another year.

Osama bin Laden's former deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri, has officially taken over as the leader of al-Qaida. He won in an election, narrowly edging out Regis.

A recent study found that today's fathers spend twice as much time with their kids as fathers in 1960. Well, yea -- those fathers back in the 1960s have now moved in with those kids!

My Aunt Judy heard a rumor that Congressman Anthony Weiner is going to run for president and he's planning to ask Attorney General Eric Holder to be his running mate. Can't wait to see those bumper stickers that say 'Weiner-Holder'!

I saw the ultimate optimist yesterday: a guy buying condoms at Costco!

John McCain says he has no plans to run for president again next year. The even bigger question: who asked?

50-cent is writing a book about bullying. In case you're wondering, he's against it.
He just wanted to put in his four bits.

Since we're so good at outsourcing, how is it that we can't outsource wars?

Paris Hilton is single again. Makes me itch just thinking about it.

Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine ticked off Adam Lambert fans when a contestant on 'The Voice' sang a Lambert song, Adam said he had never heard it before, but said the contestant probably sang it better than the original artist.  Lambert told his fans not to be upset, because he had never heard of Maroon 4 before this.

The world's oldest woman has died in Brazil, just shy of her 115th birthday.  I tell you, that title is cursed.

The New leader of al-Qaida, Ayman al-Zawahiri, is a doctor by trade.  It's the first time that al-Qaida has had a leader that takes Wednesdays off for golf.


  1.     What's not to love about food that's delivered to you?
  2.     An open mouth is round, a pizza is round: coincidence?
  3.     Name another food that has cheese, six kinds of meat, olives and anchovies!
  4.     Because there's a never-ending supply of it
  5.     Because Papa John really cares.


  1. The trees were whistling for dogs
  2. I saw a chicken lay a hard-boiled egg
  3. Thermometer has put in for combat pay
  4. Water from sprinkler evaporates before it hits the ground
  5. The cactus are complaining

Laugh a little, would ya?

PS--Those sneaky Taliban.  Check our E-Mail of the Week.
PSPS--Yep, there's still a generation gap.  Click here
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