This Week's Wacks

Our 831st Edition
"831--Fun, Fun, Fun!"
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October 28th, 2011

This is the weekend to pass it around.  It's "Bimbo #5" one more time.

Microsoft is thinking about buying Yahoo. Wonder if they'd change the name to Microhoo? It's better than Ya-soft

The reason I'm so happy Gadhafi's gone. Now I don't have to guess again how to spell his name!

The Moammar Gadhafi Show is the latest one to be canceled.

They say rebels found Gadhafi hiding in a sewer pipe like a rat. Needless to say, sewer rats are upset about the comparison.

Vice-President Joe Biden is already dropping hints about a 2016 presidential run. He's already received several endorsements, but all of those are from Republicans.

Will Ferrell has received the country's top comedy honor, the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. He'll tell you all about it if you help him white wash his front fence.

John Mayer is on "vocal rest" after having throat surgery... the same procedure Democrats would like to arrange for Joe Biden between now and the next election.

McDonalds says they're bringing back the McRib sandwich at all of their U.S. stores for a limited time. That ought to help out with the country's obesity problem -- the 'limited time' part, that is...

For Halloween, I was going to go as Charlie Sheen, but hiring the hookers and buying all that booze is SO expensive.

Madonna's brother says he's homeless. Not surprising, Madonna's home is brother-less.

Netflix is going to expand their service to the U.K. and Ireland because there are still some people left they haven't hacked off.

A new study says that drinking three cups of coffee a day reduces your risk of getting skin cancer. I drink enough, I should be pretty much immune.

Harley is recalling 308,000 motorcycles. How'd you like to be the one to tell them we goofed?

Chaz Bono was booted off "Dancing with the Stars" this week. He said the experience left him with mixed feelings... again.

A pathologist confirmed this week that some alcohol tested positive for Amy Winehouse.

Lindsay Lohan has agreed to pose for Playboy. I'm pretty sure she's posed before, just not for Playboy.

Aw, Lindsay... proof again that everyone has their price.

They have buried Moammar Gadhafi at a secret undisclosed location. It's apparently the same place Matt Lauer is hiding.

A new ice skating park on the strip in Las Vegas is going to open in time for the holidays.  What were the odds?

The CEO of Groupon says he's replacing 10% of the company's sales force. He said he got the new employees with a deal from Living Social.

Ruth and Bernard Madoff admit they tried to kill themselves in a suicide pact on Christmas Eve, but failed.  If they had only realized how many people would have been willing to help them.


  1.     Favorite slogan: "An Apple a day keeps the PC away"
  2.     Thought the name Microsoft told us a lot about Bill Gates
  3.     Tried to patent toilet that reminded you to flush: the iPeed
  4.     Claimed the only thing bigger than his ego was his alter-ego
  5.     The name of Pixar character 'Woody' always made him laugh


  1.     I'd be able to put my lawn mower away... if I had ever gotten it out.
  2.     It marks the beginning of the Christmas season
  3.     Sneaking leaves over into my neighbor's yard
  4.     What other season do we get to carve an orange vegetable?
  5.     I can claim my hair loss is only seasonal

Laugh a little, would ya?

PS--Halloween's greatest hits in this week's E-Mail of the Week.
PSPS--Several secrets and some pent-up ramblings on the blog this week. Click here
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PSPSPSPS---Follow Tim on Twitter @timwack