This Week's Wacks

This Week's Wacks
Our 841st Edition
"Don't you just hate fine print?"
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January 13th, 2012

Yeah, its Friday the 13th...but seriously, how could any Friday be unlucky?

17-year-old Dakota Fanning is on the cover of the new Cosmo. Is she even old enough to subscribe?

They say that the day people go back to work after the holidays was the most depressing day of the year. I don't know -- it seems too early in the year to already declare that the winner.

I've found that when you subscribe to monthly updates from Zillow, you get at least a dozen more depressing days each year.

A 99-year-old man is filing for divorce from his 96-year-old wife, making them the world's oldest divorced couple. What must their parents think?

A man who calls himself the grand warlock of Mexico has predicted that President Obama will not win re-election. Now, how much credence you give to a person who calls themselves "a grand warlock" is up to you. Sounds very "Charlie Sheen" to me...

Dunkin Donuts is going to double the number of stores available to Americans... since they've so successfully helped Americans double over the past several years.

Mattel is considering a line of Kardashian Barbie dolls. They'll be just like the sisters, only the dolls will be able to think.

Shouldn't somebody warn Ken?

A pub in England is now serving beer to dogs. Can Canine Karaoke be far behind?

Snoop Dogg has told the White House it would be a good idea to legalize pot. Not surprising, the house didn't say anything back.

Hostess, the company that makes Twinkies, is going to file for bankruptcy. if this happens, the last Twinkie made will only be good until 2212.

Charlie Sheen says he's not crazy anymore. I view this is a test... because, if you believe him, then YOU'RE crazy.

45 million people watched last Sunday's Denver/Pittsburgh game. Sadly, I didn't see it live... but I did Tivo Tebow, if that isn't being redundant.

The Consumer Electronics Show is happening this week in Las Vegas, featuring all the newest and coolest gadgets that I'll probably get around to owning in 7 years.

I wonder if back in his dating days, Tim Tebow gave credit to God when he made successful passes.

Shoppers at a Goodwill store in New Jersey got a surprise when a deer came crashing through a store window. Several people protected it from frightened shoppers. Boy, what some people won't do to save a buck.

Someone tried to pin a Romney button on Newt Gingrich and he yelled out, "Get your Mitts off me!"

The British government has urged its citizens to abstain from alcohol at least two days a week... or at least to wait until after lunch a couple of days a week.

Kate Gosselin is inviting fans to join her and her kids on a cruise to the Caribbean. Oh, really? Can I? Hopefully it stops at Guantanamo Bay so I can get off.

I guess I can't imagine how that couldn't turn into a giant, floating aisle in Wal-Mart.

A cruise with Kate Gosselin and her kids sounds like the perfect vacation. The only thing missing would be the flames and the smell of brimstone.

Hostess, the maker of "Twinkies," has filed for bankruptcy. First time the papers were ever submitted with a cream filling.

There's a new TV that changes channels using your voice.  Only drawback is that if yell at football games, you could end up on FOX a lot.

First Lady Michelle Obama says the new book that claims she's an "angry black woman" is wrong.  However, she does admit she's a black woman that enjoys Angry Birds.

According to a new book, Queen Elizabeth plans to stay on the throne in England until she dies.  This explains why Prince Charles signed her up for those kick-boxing classes.


  1.     Can only answer questions while juggling
  2.     Not sure exactly how, but a shark tank should be involved
  3.     Paint ball guns
  4.     Hosted by Billy Crystal
  5.     Every time they lie, they have to remove a piece of clothing


  1.     Fossilized dust bunnies
  2.     Kids are making lint angels on the rug
  3.     Dog hair everywhere... and you don't even own a dog!
  4.     When you walk on the rug, you leave footprints
  5.     People wipe their feet before going outside

Laugh a little, would ya?


PS--How wrong can you get?  See for yourself in this week's E-Mail of the Week.
PSPS--The great Christmas Mystery is resolved. Click here
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