This Week's Wacks
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January 20th, 2012

The tabloids, John Edwards is going to marry his mistress, Rielle Hunter... which of course, makes her his wife. So I suppose that makes an opening in the mistress job.

Miss Wisconsin won the Miss American pageant Saturday night. Like Tim Tebow, she said she owed everything to cheeses.

According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer...or, if nothing else, it seems longer.

Madonna says that she would never do the "kiss Britney Spears" thing again. Well, of course not. You don't know where she's been... or, where SHE'S been.

So far, Mitt Romney is 2-for-2! Of course, so is Kim Kardashian: 2 marriages, 2 divorces.

Tim Tebow spent most of Saturday night's game on the run. The last time that many people chased a Bronco, O.J. Simpson was driving.

According to USA Today, the Internal Revenue Service's budget is too small for them to reform all the things they need to do. I'm this close to writing a thank you note.

New statistics show that there are more obese people in the United States than there are overweight people. It's up to you to figure out the difference.

In North Korea, they announced they're going to embalm Kim Jong Il's body and put it on display. However, to be honest, I think the Ring Toss idea is taking it a bit too far.

Home Depot just announced plans to hire 70,000 new employees. Seems to me there are quite a few hard-working, unemployed people right outside the store.

A new study released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, say that people over age 65 binge drink more than any other age group. This could explain why Grandma got run over by that reindeer.

The State Department issued a new travel warning yesterday, urging U.S. citizens to avoid Syria. Great -- now we have to start our vacation plans all over again.

A couple got married on Skype. They're planning to spend their honeymoon on Twitter.

According to a study, the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year. With the income tax deadline, an entire Seattle baseball season ahead and an election coming up, I'm not buying it.

Mitt Romney says he only pays around 15% income tax and that's largely due to his accountants, H and R Smith.

Now we know why Tim Tebow lost last weekend. God was distracted too much trying to save Aaron Rogers.

Here's how our local weatherman covers himself. "The forecast: up to 14-inches of snow possible. These 10-inches could be the toughest 5-inches you'll ever have to drive on so brace yourself for accumulations up to 2 inches or just a light dusting, if anything shows up."

The LA Times described Seattle residents this week as "snow wimps".   This from a city where they have rainstorm drills.

LA is where I bought my "I survived the downpour of '07" t-shirt.

I grew up in LA, thinking windshield wipers were those things on a car you cleaned the bugs off with.

Kodak has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.  It'll be interesting to see what develops, if anything.

Kodak took a good look before filing for bankruptcy.  They had to-that was their slogan, right?  "Kodak: for the good look!"

One of Newt Gingrich's ex-wives has given ABC an interview and they're saying it could mean trouble for his campaign.  If one ex-wife can cause that much grief, this pretty much rules out Larry King ever running for anything.

They laughed at me when I bought a new car and chose a Zamboni....but NOW who's laughing?

And all this time I thought an Ice Storm was a malt liquor….or a rapper.


  1. NBC censors finally using stun gun on host Ricky Gervais
  2. Award given to Morgan Freeman would have been better if narrated by him
  3. Surprise but awkward "Briefest Marriage" award to Kim Kardashian
  4. Small seismic cracks began appearing on Joan Rivers on the Red Carpet
  5. Wait... we're still looking for that many...


  1. If elected President, his First Lady isn't either a lady or first
  2. He once threw away a piece of junk mail that wasn't his
  3. Newt was once a hair double for Phil Donahue
  4. He once took home a company pencil from work
  5. Not many people realize that his real first name is "Nude"

Laugh a little, would ya?

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