This Week's Wacks
Our 847th Edition
"I'm having an Oscar party Sunday.  Tough finding people named Oscar"
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February 24th, 2012

In Las Vegas a man suffered a heart attack while eating at a restaurant called the Heart Attack Grill. If nothing else, it explains why that other restaurant, The Bladder Infection Buffett, didn't last long.

It's President's Day -- that day each year we honor our leaders by hitting sales and going out to check the mail box at least three times before remembering there's no mail today.

There's a new channel called DOG-TV that offers 24 hours of programming a day to entertain dogs while their owners are gone. I think this weekend's big movie is "Dog Gone with the Wind".

Germany's president has resigned amidst a scandal...over a home loan. Really? That's the best you can do?

Thousands of atheists are going to hold a rally on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. next month. God knows why....

Thanks for listening to our show... now #1 among people considering things to give up for Lent.

Rioters in Greece set fire to a Starbucks, apparently damaging thousands of dollars of equipment. However, all the coffee tasted the same.

Researchers say that technology could be available soon to allow people to live to be 150-years-old which means Larry King could have another 9 marriages in him.

Charlie Sheen says he's "tired of lying" which obviously rules him out for running for president.

Khloe Kardashian and her husband Lamar Odom broke a sex swing when they were trying it out for the first time. In a related story, I'd rather not know.

Greece is going to get a $170-billion bailout. Now maybe they can get some of those ruins fixed up.

Yep, Greece owed $170-billion. For the record, $160-billion of that was in student loans.

A guy had to be pepper-sprayed and was charged with assault and battery at Disneyland the other day. Some say he was drunk. Others thought someone had slipped him a Mickey. (sister Debbie came up with that one)

From Bobby Rich: Archeologists found a Babylonian tablet covered in jokes of the day. It won't be available for viewing for a while so scientists say if you want to hear what 4000 year old jokes sound like you should listen to my radio show.

I wonder if anyone has ever tried to give up Lent for Lent? Seems redundant, but it does accomplish the goal.

Gas prices are skyrocketing in Los Angeles. They say it won't be long until people couldn't afford to even drive to work... if they had a job.

A new survey found that most hairdressers don't like listening to their clients' stories. Well, yeah, but if we say one thing about your lousy story and 'Oops! Sorry... '

Just curious -- do you think, when Bill Gates was a young kid, he ever brought his teacher an Apple?

Dutch scientists say the world's first test-tube meat, a hamburger made from cow stem cells, will be available sometime this year.  McDonald's is planning to be the first to offer the Mc-Ewwwwwwww!

Sarah Palin's former and current aides say HBO's movie about Palin, 'Game Change' is "sick" and inaccurate.  They say the only good thing about is that it's on HBO, where no one will see it.

Lawmakers in Tennessee are trying to pass a law that would make it illegal for teachers to use the word "gay" in Elementary schools. Can burning every thesaurus be far behind?  By the way, what's another word for 'thesaurus?'


  1.     The words "Carrot Top" appears in the credits
  2.     The rating was "Not recommended for anyone over 6 months"
  3.     Read it more carefully: it said produced by Beeven Stielberg
  4.     Did you really think: "Battleship Earth: The Musical" stood a chance?
  5.     "Directed by Lindsay Lohan" should have been your first clue


  1.     He crossed the Potomac with his soldiers to avoid paying the toll
  2.     Became the father of our country despite using protection
  3.     You know that story about how he couldn't tell a lie? He lied.
  4.     He was good about his wooden teeth and sand-paper'd twice a day
  5.     His Revolutionary War name was "LL Cool G"

Laugh a little, would ya?

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