Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson has called for the legalization of marijuana. Now when he refers to "a higher authority", you can't be sure who he's talking about.
Pot, Pat. Pat, pot.
Wells Fargo is expanding their $7 a month checking account fee. I don't know why they just don't take the money and start a "Switch to Ally Bank" campaign.
I'm waiting for the pre-Angry Birds game: Agitated Eggs
ABC is coming out with a musical competition show, called "Duets". I'm not saying they're a little late to the party, but they're already starting to fold up the chairs.
Quick question: when we "spring ahead" an hour each year, why can't it be done at 4 o'clock on Friday afternoon?
Starbucks is going to start selling a single-serving espresso and coffee machine, allowing you to be able to make your drinks at home for just pennies. However, if you still want the complete Starbucks experience, you can always pay yourself $5.
"Dancing With the Stars" judge Carrie Ann Inaba says that she hasn't had time to plan out her upcoming wedding because she's so busy taking care of the couple's six cats. If that doesn't scream, "Uh, guy? You wanna really think this one over?"
Harvard School of Medicine research says that cutting back on your red meat to once a week reduces the risk of dying early by 20%. That explains the new slogan, "Beef: it's what's for dinner…while you're around."
A new survey says eating red meat is bad for you….especially if you're a cow.
Why can't they develop a car that runs on Presidential debates? Seems like we have an endless supply of those.
In Los Angeles, an entire Little League was about to go under, but was saved by a $1200 donation from a strip club. As you'd expect, all in ones.
I do plan to switch completely to natural foods once they invent the organic Twinkie.
After a week of being on the shelves, those John Wilkes Booth bobbleheads were pulled at the Gettysburg National Military Park. What's next? The Lee Harvey Oswald Pez dispenser?
The price of oil keeps going up and up and up. Well, as long as it doesn't affect the price of gas, we'll be OK.
The latest polls show that we're sick and tired of hearing about the latest polls.
A woman in San Diego gave birth last Thursday to a baby boy that clocked in at 13-pounds, 14-ounces. No name yet for the baby, but the woman does have a new nickname for her husband: "Touch me again and die."
Stephen Hawking is going to guest star on "The Big Bang Theory"…of course, running the risk that he could prove they didn't really happen
I love how Rick Santorum won two southern states on Tuesday and made Mitt Romney look absolutely silly, if it weren't for the fact Romney has four times as many delegate votes.
Drug users in San Francisco have now formed a drug user's union. So, when they go on strike….uh, who'd care?
FIVE POSSIBLE SPINOFFS OF "THE HUNGER GAMES"
"Flatulence Wars" (slogan: "It's time to kick some gas!")
"Who's Sneeze Is It Anyway?"
"Tummy Growl Take-Downs"
"Battle of the Burps"
"Hiccup versus Hiccup"
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU MAY BE A LEPRECHAUN
Someone's always after your Lucky Charms
Can't walk into a public restroom without someone following you to the pot
Everything you own is green
People keep accidently sitting on you
Always the last to get picked for the basketball team