This Week's Wacks
Our 859th Edition
"I'm done wishing upon a star. I'm going to start wishing upon Starbucks!"
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May 18th, 2012

I see this date and I go right there: 32 years ago today, I woke up in a sunny Yakima Valley and within hours, we were buried in volcanic ash from Mount St. Helens.  Still have a couple of coffee cans of the stuff under the house.  But that's not funny, so we'll move on.

I have this dream that, one day, instead of all the campaigns and money and insults and half-truths, that we'll go the way of Harry Potter: round up some candidates and let the Sorting Hat figure out who would be best.

Today, to no one's surprise, the folks at the Bridal Registry at Macy's came out in support of gay marriages.

George Clooney hosted a political fund-raiser for President Obama last Thursday night. Three things we know for sure: there were no Romney supporters, no Republicans and no Oscars.

There's a new kinky historical novel on the American Civil War, called, "Fifty Shades of the Blue & Gray"

Honestly, heard an interview with a member of Iron Butterfly, talking about their upcoming concert in Kent, Washington....and he said, "Yeah, we really want to bring back nostalgia."

Researchers at Harvard say red wine can slow the aging process. Well, who am I to argue with Harvard?

I may not have stopped it, but I've got it staggering.

A new survey found that the best time to post something on Facebook is on Wednesdays between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. I think it's amazing that so many people have that same time off from work.

The good news: Greece has a new economic adviser. The bad news: he's Mayan.

A woman I know bought one of those robot vacuums, that goes around and does the vacuuming by itself. She said she bought it as a time-saver, but it didn't work because she lost time by sitting around and watching it so much. Then she started to put things in the way and play games with it.

We can change the world, but it's going to take a long time to drain the ocean.

A new study claims that 30% of us have experienced sleep-walking. I actually count it as part of my weekly exercise.

A new poll shows that Mitt Romney is leading with women... except, of course, those who want to marry each other.

There's a new Facebook game called "The Journey of Jesus." You only get one life, but the good news: it's eternal.

The masseur who filed the first sexual assault case against John Travolta has now filed a motion to get the case dismissed. We don't know if it's being handled outside of court or, for that matter, what was handled in the first place.

It's the 250th anniversary of the sandwich. Like we need to celebrate inventing a way to eat two different types of food faster. Meat and Bread at the same time? Oh boy!

A new study claims that eating too much sugar can make you dumb. Of course, that means from now on, "Aren't you sweet?" is an insult.

In Texas, a 67-year-old man died after getting several lap dances at a strip club. Wow, my wife was right!

Rihanna is said to be dating New York Nicks player J.R. Smith.  If nothing else, he comes with a name to check into a hotel with.

"C.S.I.-Miami" has been canceled.  They know who did it: CBS.

Police in California burned 34,000 marijuana plants that were growing in a state park. Nearby neighbors were going to complain to authorities about the smoke as soon as they made a munchies run.

A new study says that coffee drinkers live longer.  Or, at least, waiting in that line at Starbucks makes it feel that way.


  1.     You accidentally went to an Amway Convention in a ballroom on the wrong floor. (well, that explains a lot)
  2.     For that matter, no one there could remember you.
  3.     Old girlfriend couldn't remember your name
  4.     You ended up on the "Classmates we've lost" poster again
  5.     You kept being mistaken for one of the teachers


  1.     Have it at night
  2.     Featuring leper colony hand-me-downs
  3.     Only sell used reptiles
  4.     Cash box run by JP Morgan Chase
  5.     Only accept exact change in Euros

Laugh a little, would ya?

PS--The toothpaste rule--this week's Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--The family just got smaller. My blog.
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PSPSPSPSPS--She's Ima Norwegian.  Catch her every Sunday at