This Week's Wacks
Our 861st* Edition
"Hey, if Roger Maris can have an asterisk, so can I."
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June 1st, 2012
Archeologists in southwestern Germany have found a flute that is 42,000 years old. They believe it belonged to a young girl who loved playing the flute so much, her parents bought it for her, at which point, of course, she grew tired of it and never played it again. Wow, things haven't really changed in 42,000 years.
A new survey just came out and it finds that sex is better when you're on vacation. Not when I'm on vacation, when YOU'RE on vacation. That's as much as I'm going to admit.
Sarah West has become the first woman to take charge of a warship in the 500-year history of the British navy. Although, I don't think some of the senior members of the Navy understood that she was now a skipper... because they all chipped in and bought her a Skipper Pole.
Former adult film star Jenna Jameson was arrested in Southern California for investigation of driving under the influence her car ran into a light pole... and then she went out and performed a dance on it.
New research says eating organic foods can make you more arrogant & judgmental. Probably some hot dog eating unwashed commoner wrote that.
I was going to take a survey called, "Are you fearless?" but I was afraid of the results.
Now that Sharon Osbourne has worked with Howard Stern a while, she describes him as "quite odd"... which is impressive, considering she's married to Ozzy Osbourne.
A new study shows current members of Congress speak at a 10th grade level. Who would have guessed it was that high?
The convenient part of this year's American Idol winner, Phillip Phillips, is that if you forget one name, you forget them both.
President Obama presented singer Bob Dylan with the Medal of Freedom during a ceremony at the White House the other day. Dylan said, "He was deeply honored" or "Should sheep be sheered?," we couldn't quite understand him.
TMZ reports that Justin Bieber's altercation with a paparazzi photographer will be handed off to the D.A. for possible criminal prosecution. The guy claims he was beaten up by Justin Bieber. This is the kind of incident that could prove embarrassing for life, and I'm not talking about Justin here.
Yeah, but I'll bet he could have taken Betty White.
Kobe Bryant just bought a race horse. It's not in the playoffs, either.
John Travolta is in settlement talks with one of his accusers. Hopefully they can figure out a happy ending, which is, of course, how this whole thing started.
Jeopardy host Alex Trebek says he may retire at the end of the season. Then I had to ask myself, "Does the season every really end?"
Notice that I put that question in the form of a question.
Former President George Bush returned to the White House Thursday for the unveiling of his official presidential portrait. The first ever, I believe, done on a pony.
Laugh a little, would ya?
TOP FIVE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT A 4-DAY WORK WEEK
- It gives me enough of a taste, that we should try a 3-day work week
- It further proves I can do five days worth of work in four days
- Frankly, it's the way I should be accustomed to working
- By the time I remember that Tuesday is not Monday, it's Wednesday!
- Only four days of traffic
MY TOP FIVE FAVORITE JUNE TRADITIONS
- Seattle Mariners officially eliminated from the playoffs
- Beginning of Summer
- Weddings
- Father's Day
- Graduations
Tim
PS--A corny joke and Marriage 101 on this week's Facebook Post of the Week.
PSPS--Having second thoughts about the second amendment in my blog.
PSPSPS--If you have Facebook, I'm over here
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PSPSPSPSPS--She's Ima Norwegian. Catch her every Sunday at MyBallard.com